I know how frustrating it is when people lie online but the truth is “it is what it is”. Why is everyone so surprise by this?

Online dating works in many ways but also is a place for people to lie there pants off. LOL! It’s just so easy to get carried away. Ladies, it’s not just the men that lie. There are simple lies like I’m a non-smoker when in fact you smoke a pack a day. Then we have the big lie of someone being married playing if off as single.

Maybe it’s a fantasy for those who stretch the truth. What I mean is putting up a picture that isn’t yours and thinking its ok. How many times have I seen those pictures of models in picture frames at the store on someone’s profile? Anyone want to guess? 10 times! And lying about your height and weight is so stupid. If you never plan on making a date with the people you communicate with then boy do you waste a lot of time?

But, for all those people trying to find someone special it just makes no sense. I remember I was chatting with a guy online and his photo was very nice. Then he asked me for a second photo of myself and I ask this of him. When I got the photo it wasn’t the same person. And, he had the nerve to call me shallow. He just didn’t get how much that turned me off and that he could lie.

You need to play the internet dating game smart. Use your common sense and go with your gut. If you have a sense that someone is lying to you cut the communication off. When you email or chat with someone over time you will know the real deal. Whatever you do this has nothing to do with you if someone lies. It is not a personal attack but it sure can feel that way.

I promise you there are people out there that are honest and wanting the same things you do. If it sounds too good to be true then I promise you it is. Trust me I have experienced it all on dating sites and I would just move on. In fact I happen to be dating someone I met online and I’m happy. Sure it took awhile to find each other but it will happen. It is just a numbers game.

No Comments

Dating someone who travels for work can be a bit stressful. As a teenager my dad traveled for many years during the week. A lot of times he would be so tired and stressed out when he returned home on Friday night. Plus, I could pretty much get away with anything with my mother. I was very responsible as a teenager and did what my folks told me. But, there was a part of me that felt like I didn’t have to listen to my dad since he was never around. There was always so much more tension in the house on the weekends and it felt like you were walking on eggshells because he was so tired and stressed out.

I always said I would never date or marry anyone who traveled for business during the entire work week. For some of the same fears I had surrounding my dad. Their time is so limited on the weekends due to not being around all week. And this is very understandable.

Currently, the man I have been dating has been working out of town during the week. And it actually has not really been a problem plus it is short term. I have learned to deal with him not around during the week and focus on myself. We talk on the phone several times a day and I always look forward to seeing him on Friday night. Plus, we trust each other completely. All I can say is thank god because if I had any doubts it is all I would think about.

Now trust really comes into play in this situation. Anyone who is insecure and has trouble trusting people are the ones who have an issue with this. This can test a relationship on many levels. But, it is a good way to stay focus on your own hobbies and interests. People worry that their partner may cheat on them and you would never know. This is not a great place to be in. You can’t let your imagination run away with you.

My suggestion is that if your dating someone who travels and you just can’t deal with it then your in the wrong relationship. You should examine your choices and do what is in the best interest for your higher self. Who wants to be stressed out or feel like your missing something all week long?

When your looking for a partner it is always a good idea to write down what your ideal relationship would look like. It may surprise you if you are totally honest with yourself.

No Comments

I have gotten several emails asking for advice because singles are having trouble getting a second or third date. I personally know how frustrating this can be. Not every time you meet someone and there is no second date is it all about you. Especially if we are talking about someone you met online. I can stress enough that you need to think of a internet date as a “Meet and Greet”.

You need to relax on the first couple of dates and try to be yourself. Don’t try so hard to impress the other person. Or tell them your whole dating history and what went wrong. Just go with the flow as much as possible. I know how hard this can be trust me. And all those expectations!!!

No Comments

Now that the warm weather is here it’s time to get out of the house and explore. Have you ever noticed that internet dating sites have fewer new members during the summer months? Singles should get out and do outdoor activities as a way of meeting others.

Whether it’s joining a cycling or volleyball club or just going to the beach. People especially New Englanders are much more friendly once the warm weather is here. If you want a break from Internet Dating this is a good time of year.

Try and get your single friends interested in some type of outdoor activity. As they say” the more the merrier”.

No Comments

Most of us come into a relationship with some baggage that can’t be avoided. As much as we say leave the past behind you it is not always possible. This includes past hurts and ex-boy and girl friends. What I suggest is that you try not mix the old into the new. All we can do is learn from the past and break patterns of old behavior.

Many new partners don’t want to hear about your past relationships. Too much information could cause some problems for some. We never want to be compared to past boy or girlfriends. And what if they are still friendly with their ex? Can men and women really be friends after lovers?

I can only name on guy that I’m still really good friends with after dating for a year. Any other of the men still want to hook up every once in awhile. If is very hard to stay friends with someone you still have chemistry with. There are too many games played between the sexes and exes.

I have been dating someone for the past 3 months and he doesn’t want to hear about my past boyfriends or be compared to them. I totally understand and respect he wishes not to go too deep into my past relationships. Sure we talk in general terms about our past but that’s it.

If you are still hung up on the past it is going to get in the way of your future. Cut the cord and move on!

2 Comments

Women seem to have a harder time than men responding to a email from their profile online. One of my friends just started online dating and got an email but didn’t know what to say or how to respond. So she called me for advice.

First off, the guy said “nice???!!! and smile. We all know what he is referring to when he uses all the ???!!!. Nice Body! So is he interested or just looking to hook up? You never know what the answer is but my guess is he is looking to hook up. I would never even respond back to this type of email but that’s just me.

You don’t have to respond to everyone who emails you. Although, it has been suggested to be considerate and email the person back to say thanks but no thanks. I’ll tell you the times I emailed the person back and said no thanks I got a rude email back. So do what feels right to you.

If your interested just write back and say hi and ask them any questions you may have after reading their profile. What do you have to loss?

No Comments

All our dreams can come true- if we have the courage to pursue them. -Walt Disney

I love this quote because it is so true. We have to take a leap of faith and go after our dreams. For all those single people out there that do not take a proactive role in trying to meet someone this quote is for you. No one is going to show up at your door and you ride off into the sunset.

I know too many men and women who are so tired of being alone and all they do is complain about it. How does this help you? It only makes you more depressed and lonely so get up off the sofa and make your dreams come true.

No Comments

When you first start dating someone everything seems great. It could be a month or two when you start getting mixed signals from this person. In most cases this is a bad sign of the relationship fading out. There are a lot of people out there that have commitment issues that appear around the third month of dating.

Most of the time you hear things like “it’s not you”. This could actually be the truth and it is just their pattern when it comes to dating. People fear getting to close and letting someone in. So instead they run on to the next relationship.

If you start seeing signs like someone not making plans for the weekend or they stop calling as often pay close attention. Confront the person instead of letting it drag on and your feeling getting hurt even more. Be brave and take a stand. In the long road you will be better off.

No Comments

There is nothing better than being with someone who totally gets you. Have you ever dated someone who has no clue where your coming from? Although, it does take time to really get to know someone. You have to get through that honeymoon phase where everything is just so amazing.

Only over time can you really know if your an ideal match. After a couple weeks or months in some cases the person lets down there guard and you see the truth. I do believe in love at first sight but sometimes love is not enough to make a long term relationship work.

You have to be able to see your partner clearly and take off the blinders. Some people have said to me “the sex is great” as if that is what holds are relationship together. Not even close! What holds to people together is mutual respect, friendship and trust. You may not always agreed on everything but that is fine. Two opinions are better than one anytime. You just need to say open minded to others opinion and just listen.

Don’t sweat the small stuff and always be willing to try and find a compromise on issues. If your partner isn’t willing to compromise or listen to your point of view that is a HUGE issue. Like I said earlier love isn’t enough sometimes.

No Comments

So many of us have been hurt by people we loved. Being heart broken can do a lot of damage and we must find a way to recover. If you close off your heart to love and refuse to take risks even more damage is done.

I have experienced heart break and it really took a toll on me emotionally. Add to that my dad dying of cancer which only lead to abandonment issues. Why do bad things happen to good people? So many of us think this way. But, I believe that God only gives us what we can handle and maybe we are all a lot stronger than we think.

All the so call bad things that happen to us only show us our strenght and will power. I never stopped hoping that I would find the kind of love that ever lasting. I know that nothing last forever but I need to enjoy today and not worry about tomorrow so much. Living in the present is the only way to live.

Risk is part of life and you have to be in it to win it. So learn from your heart break and look within to make the changes that will help you learn from your past relationships and stop repeating behavior that doesn’t work.

No Comments