Rushing into Love

Do you ever wonder why people always want to jump into a relationship without taking it slowly? For some all it takes is one date and they are off and running in their head. I believe it must be something you’re running away from on some emotion level.

It should never be that the next man or woman that comes along is your ticket to happiness. You know nothing about them and it takes times to really get to know someone. I know it is hard to stay in reality and not get caught up in a new romance. I have done this myself but learned that it was my own insecurities and fears that led me to wanting to jump right in.

If a relationship is meant to be time will tell. A new relationship stirs up so much in each of us. Each of us is dealing with some old hurts and feelings. This can only be worked out by pushing through the scary stuff. So the next time you meet someone new have patience and listen to your mind and heart. Mr. or Miss Wrong will never turn into Mr. or Miss Right no matter how hard you try.

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First Date Pressure

You can’t rush love especially when it comes to meeting someone from one of the internet dating sites. Trust me I understand how you can get your hopes up planning to meet someone. It is not healthy to put all your energy and hopes in a one hour date.

You really need to think of this as an adventure and take the chance on the chemistry just not being there. If you’re like me you know within 5 minutes if there is any chemistry or not. Then there are others who need a couple dates to know if this is Mr. or Miss Right.

There are so many lonely people who are looking for their soul mate. When you single focus on yourself and find what makes you happy. We can’t wait around for love to come a knocking at our door. Be happy and love will find you when you least expect it.

The bottom line is hopes and dreams are very important but we have to be open it. If you planning a date with someone new just go and see what you see or feel. Remember, as I keep saying a first date is a “meet and greet”.

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Gym Dating

Have you ever noticed the people at the gym who just socialize and work out very little? Trust me this is a social outlet for many. You are surrounded by people with the same interested in staying fit. I think the gym is a great place to meet new people. But, dating every man or women that crosses your path is a big no no. And if you think it is only the 20 to 30 something crowd guess again.

I have known many men and women who use the gym as their main source of dating. Not a problem but you really don’t want to be known as the gym slut do you? I can remember an old friend of mine who was very attractive and she would flirt with every guy at the gym. I think she dated every good looking guy at the gym. One day a male friend of mine called me since we both knew this women to gossip. He told me she has slept with a lot of guys from the gym. I was very turned off and was not aware that she was sleeping with all these men.

Even I have dated guys from the gym but I only went out with the men I was really interested in. I look at it this way. Going to the gym is one of the things I can do for myself. It is my time to work out and clear my head. I didn’t want to have to avoid anyone at the gym or change the time I worked out just because I had a bad date.

Allot of couples have met at the gym and gotten married which is great. Just don’t use it as your “playground” in an unhealthy way.

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Why do people lie online?

I know how frustrating it is when people lie online but the truth is “it is what it is”. Why is everyone so surprise by this?

Online dating works in many ways but also is a place for people to lie there pants off. LOL! It’s just so easy to get carried away. Ladies, it’s not just the men that lie. There are simple lies like I’m a non-smoker when in fact you smoke a pack a day. Then we have the big lie of someone being married playing if off as single.

Maybe it’s a fantasy for those who stretch the truth. What I mean is putting up a picture that isn’t yours and thinking its ok. How many times have I seen those pictures of models in picture frames at the store on someone’s profile? Anyone want to guess? 10 times! And lying about your height and weight is so stupid. If you never plan on making a date with the people you communicate with then boy do you waste a lot of time?

But, for all those people trying to find someone special it just makes no sense. I remember I was chatting with a guy online and his photo was very nice. Then he asked me for a second photo of myself and I ask this of him. When I got the photo it wasn’t the same person. And, he had the nerve to call me shallow. He just didn’t get how much that turned me off and that he could lie.

You need to play the internet dating game smart. Use your common sense and go with your gut. If you have a sense that someone is lying to you cut the communication off. When you email or chat with someone over time you will know the real deal. Whatever you do this has nothing to do with you if someone lies. It is not a personal attack but it sure can feel that way.

I promise you there are people out there that are honest and wanting the same things you do. If it sounds too good to be true then I promise you it is. Trust me I have experienced it all on dating sites and I would just move on. In fact I happen to be dating someone I met online and I’m happy. Sure it took awhile to find each other but it will happen. It is just a numbers game.

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Dating someone who travels

Dating someone who travels for work can be a bit stressful. As a teenager my dad traveled for many years during the week. A lot of times he would be so tired and stressed out when he returned home on Friday night. Plus, I could pretty much get away with anything with my mother. I was very responsible as a teenager and did what my folks told me. But, there was a part of me that felt like I didn’t have to listen to my dad since he was never around. There was always so much more tension in the house on the weekends and it felt like you were walking on eggshells because he was so tired and stressed out.

I always said I would never date or marry anyone who traveled for business during the entire work week. For some of the same fears I had surrounding my dad. Their time is so limited on the weekends due to not being around all week. And this is very understandable.

Currently, the man I have been dating has been working out of town during the week. And it actually has not really been a problem plus it is short term. I have learned to deal with him not around during the week and focus on myself. We talk on the phone several times a day and I always look forward to seeing him on Friday night. Plus, we trust each other completely. All I can say is thank god because if I had any doubts it is all I would think about.

Now trust really comes into play in this situation. Anyone who is insecure and has trouble trusting people are the ones who have an issue with this. This can test a relationship on many levels. But, it is a good way to stay focus on your own hobbies and interests. People worry that their partner may cheat on them and you would never know. This is not a great place to be in. You can’t let your imagination run away with you.

My suggestion is that if your dating someone who travels and you just can’t deal with it then your in the wrong relationship. You should examine your choices and do what is in the best interest for your higher self. Who wants to be stressed out or feel like your missing something all week long?

When your looking for a partner it is always a good idea to write down what your ideal relationship would look like. It may surprise you if you are totally honest with yourself.

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Getting to a second or third date

I have gotten several emails asking for advice because singles are having trouble getting a second or third date. I personally know how frustrating this can be. Not every time you meet someone and there is no second date is it all about you. Especially if we are talking about someone you met online. I can stress enough that you need to think of a internet date as a “Meet and Greet”.

You need to relax on the first couple of dates and try to be yourself. Don’t try so hard to impress the other person. Or tell them your whole dating history and what went wrong. Just go with the flow as much as possible. I know how hard this can be trust me. And all those expectations!!!

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Summer and Romance

Now that the warm weather is here it’s time to get out of the house and explore. Have you ever noticed that internet dating sites have fewer new members during the summer months? Singles should get out and do outdoor activities as a way of meeting others.

Whether it’s joining a cycling or volleyball club or just going to the beach. People especially New Englanders are much more friendly once the warm weather is here. If you want a break from Internet Dating this is a good time of year.

Try and get your single friends interested in some type of outdoor activity. As they say” the more the merrier”.

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Leave your past relationships in the past.

Most of us come into a relationship with some baggage that can’t be avoided. As much as we say leave the past behind you it is not always possible. This includes past hurts and ex-boy and girl friends. What I suggest is that you try not mix the old into the new. All we can do is learn from the past and break patterns of old behavior.

Many new partners don’t want to hear about your past relationships. Too much information could cause some problems for some. We never want to be compared to past boy or girlfriends. And what if they are still friendly with their ex? Can men and women really be friends after lovers?

I can only name on guy that I’m still really good friends with after dating for a year. Any other of the men still want to hook up every once in awhile. If is very hard to stay friends with someone you still have chemistry with. There are too many games played between the sexes and exes.

I have been dating someone for the past 3 months and he doesn’t want to hear about my past boyfriends or be compared to them. I totally understand and respect he wishes not to go too deep into my past relationships. Sure we talk in general terms about our past but that’s it.

If you are still hung up on the past it is going to get in the way of your future. Cut the cord and move on!

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What to do when someone writes you from your profile online.

Women seem to have a harder time than men responding to a email from their profile online. One of my friends just started online dating and got an email but didn’t know what to say or how to respond. So she called me for advice.

First off, the guy said “nice???!!! and smile. We all know what he is referring to when he uses all the ???!!!. Nice Body! So is he interested or just looking to hook up? You never know what the answer is but my guess is he is looking to hook up. I would never even respond back to this type of email but that’s just me.

You don’t have to respond to everyone who emails you. Although, it has been suggested to be considerate and email the person back to say thanks but no thanks. I’ll tell you the times I emailed the person back and said no thanks I got a rude email back. So do what feels right to you.

If your interested just write back and say hi and ask them any questions you may have after reading their profile. What do you have to loss?

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Pursue your dreams!

All our dreams can come true- if we have the courage to pursue them. -Walt Disney

I love this quote because it is so true. We have to take a leap of faith and go after our dreams. For all those single people out there that do not take a proactive role in trying to meet someone this quote is for you. No one is going to show up at your door and you ride off into the sunset.

I know too many men and women who are so tired of being alone and all they do is complain about it. How does this help you? It only makes you more depressed and lonely so get up off the sofa and make your dreams come true.

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