There are two kinds of people when it comes to falling in love. Love at first sight or it takes you a while to know.

I have been in love four times in my life. Each time it has been love at first sight. There is a powerful connection when I first see the person. I am completely drawn to the man sometimes without even talking to him first. Is it destiny?

When I was in college I fell over heels with a guy but completely lost myself in him. He was everything to me which is not too healthy. Looking back 25 years later I know that I loved him very much but also that I shouldn’t have depended on him as much as I did. When we broke up I was devastated.

At the moment I am in love with the sweetest man but I am not consumed by the love. I was happy before I met him on my own. I can only describe him as the piece of the puzzle that was missing in my life. I am grounded and not out of control. There is a comfort level that is very peaceful.

Then you have the people whom it takes 5 or so dates to know if they are even interested in dating the person. Slow and steady! They may have a gut feeling about the person but need to be cautious. This is not a bad thing at all.

But, for me I need to stay true to my heart. I made the mistake about 6 years ago of dating a man who kind of grew on me. My gut said no but I wanted to give him a chance. He was very persistence and won me over but I was never in love with him. But, I did love him or so I thought. Again, he came into my life when my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer so I believe I just wanted to escape when what was really going on. Thank God I never married him. I moved in with him after a year of dating and 3 weeks later we broke up. It was the wrong thing to do but at the time I couldn’t get out of my own way to see the truth.

Which are you?

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How To Recover
There are so many ways to get through break ups. What works for one person doesn’t always work for another. Some get really depressed and lose hope while others don’t beat themselves up over the situation. You can usually get advice from friends and family but it doesn’t mean you need to do what anyone tells you. We all listen but do what we want in the end or until we feel ready to listen. Besides, different friends and family members are certain to over varying perspectives on how you should feel, what you should do to get over the person, and what your next course of action should be.

Advice on Recovery
I can tell you first hand that I’ve been in some long term relationships and have learned a lot. Letting go has always been hard for me and I’m still not the best at it but I am so much strong now and have learned so much about myself and what makes me tick. Chose your own method and try and work through it. Go out, cry, laugh, and talk until your friends want to put a sock in your mouth. Whatever you do learn from your relationships and try to figure out what it is you want and how to go after it.

Professional Help or Hiring a Coach
Therapy is the best medicine. For all of you who say “that’s for the weak,” you are so wrong! You can try and deal with all your feelings yourself or talk with friends and family if that works for you. But, talking to a professional who doesn’t know you as well can be much more objective and really help you focus on what’s really going on. A lot of us sabotage relationships all on our own due to past experiences. Maybe we have a commitment, intimacy and or communication problem. Why not invest in yourself and mental well being? Are you afraid of what you will discover or are you ready to face your fears and move on?

Spiritual
Believing in something or someone is an awesome experience. I was never too religious so when things got bad I wanted and needed something to believe in. So once I was unemployed for awhile and I started reading some books on spirituality. I started to believe that I had a higher power. It doesn’t have to be God or even a person. It can just be a thought or image. We are all here for a reason and it’s a journey to figure out what your path is.

Coping Methods
We all cope differently so pick what works. Exercise and working out regularly can help you cope and relax. Yoga classes are great for your mind as well as your body. Sometimes we just need to sit with our feeling and work through them. Keeping a journal is a great way to get your feeling out. Plus, looking back and seeing what you have written can blow your mind. Meditate if you like. Get into your work and just do your very best. Buy a pet or go shopping. If you’re a man, go out and get some toys or build something. These are effective ways to spend time on a project and get time to help you.

Pity Party
This is not the best option but it works for some people. Have the party alone or ask your friends to join you. But, you only get ONE. It solves nothing but is a great way to cry or get some attention from loved ones.

Check out my other dating articles!

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I think we all have been in a relationship at least once in our lifetime that really isn’t going anywhere. You know when you want more and your partner doesn’t. The most important thing is too not get in too far before you make a big mistake such as move in together or get engaged.

About 10 years ago I met a guy named Bill through a dating service. He was crazy about me right away but I wasn’t feeling it at all. He was nothing like any of my past boyfriends in every sense of the way. It didn’t matter if I was bitchy or passive he didn’t seem to care. He would bring me flowers each date and call me everyday. So I bet your wondering so what’s so bad about that? I never was into guys who kissed my butt all the time. As a matter of fact I found this a total turn off.

But, I started questioning myself about whether I was just trying to protect myself from being hurt and getting too close. I keep saying be open and go with the flow. So I did just that and let my guard down. So for about 4 months things were going great and I was really enjoying myself although he still wasn’t my ideal match. The next thing I know he’s telling me he loves me and I realized I loved him. Or did I?
Then BAM he breaks up with me out of the clear blue. One day he loves me and the next he’s gone. I was so upset but I wasn’t sure at who. It was as if he wore me down until I gave in. At the same time my sister found out she had breast cancer so I was a mess. Bill came crawling back and said he made a mistake and what do you think I did? That’s right I took him back. How stupid was that? This happened 3 times and each time I took him back. This was way before I had my act together when it came to men. The last straw was on the day I moved in with him and knew I had made the worst mistake of my life. We lasted 3 weeks and I moved out. Two months later he called and wanted to see me to talk. Now he wanted to get engaged. It was as if a brick hit him on the head and he’s now ready for a commitment now. Thank God I came to my senses and just walked away.

I realized that I only took him back so many times because it was easier than dealing with my sister’s cancer. I just didn’t want to be alone. My sister went through a year of treatments and I was the only family member close by so there was alot of pressure on me.

At this point in my life I would never stay in a relationship that wasn’t working or meeting my needs. If I had gone with my gut or the voice within I would have never dated Bill. So the bottom line is go with your gut and honor your inner voice because we all have the answers within.

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As a dating consultant I can provide assistance with dating and relationship issues as they come up. Consulting is about focusing on one situation at a time which is different from and does not warrant coaching. This will allow you to get insight on a particular question or concern.

What is Dating Consulting?
Dating consulting services are those that tackle unique aspects of a date. If you have questions about what to do under given circumstance, then you should speak to a dating consultant.

Your Personal Dating Consultant
As your personal dating consultant, I work with you on specific aspects of dating that could be improved. If you are unsure as to what a particular situation calls for, I will be there to teach you what successful dating singles already know.

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Most of the time people will lie about being married online in order to meet people. As I talked about yesterday you can see who has viewed your profile online. So I just saw a profile with the headline “Married and Lonely”.

On one hand it really bugs me that married men go on sites like Match. But, on the other hand he is letting you know from the start that he’s married and not happy. I would like the married folks should go to adult friend finders. LOL!

It would be so easy for me to say “hey if your that unhappy get a divorce”. I know at least 5 men that are unhappy in their marriages but are staying until the children go off to college. Only 2 of the guys I know would have affairs.

There is really not alot more to say on the subject. I’m guessing there are many people out there that wouldn’t have a problem getting involved with someone married.

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Communication plays a huge role in a relationship. Are you afraid to bring up something that your partner hates to talk about? How you ever felt if you speak up about something that it will end your relationship?

I believe that in order for a relationship to last you need to have open communication. You know that if you hold back and don’t voice what is bugging you it will come out in many different ways. I remember when I was younger I wanted to breakup with my boyfriend but was too afraid to say anything. I started to be a total bitch and he broke up with me. I remember so clearly that every time I would be upset about something big and talked to my boyfriend that the relationship always ended. If bringing up an issues breaks up your relationship it was going to end sooner or later.

Now, I speak my mind regardless of the outcome. What I have learned is I need to be with a man who can communicate and be open. The only thing to fear is fear it’s self. I can offer help! http://coachmarcie.com/relationship-coaching.htm

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