In order for a relationship to stay strong and grow you must have mutual respect for each other. No two people are alike although you can have much in common. We need to respect the differences. An example is if you and your partner disagree on a specific topic. Just be open to their thoughts and feelings.

You can debate topics or problems but we are each allowed our own opinions. There is no reason to get all stressed out because they don’t see things the way you do. Of course this does not apply on big issues that will affect your relationship. I’m just talking about basic differences.

I personally like having a difference view than my partner’s. We come from two totally different background and have different experiences. We both learn from each other and are open to listening to each other’s opinion. I never wanted to be my male twin because I would be very bored.

So respect each other and stay open!

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Does dating someone who travels for work put added pressure on a relationship? The answer is different for everyone.

If you independent most likely you can deal with someone traveling for business. You have your own career and life to focus on. The time sent together is precise and you make the most of it. The bottom line is you are able to create your own schedule and not sit around wondering when you will see your partner next.

On the other hand there are some people who can’t deal with separation. They have a tendency to put all their focus on their partner. They feel lost without them. This is a major sign that you need to do some work on yourself. We can not rely on one person to make our lives meaningful and secure. We think the person will save us from our own personal demons that do not allow us to be independent.

When I was younger I had major abandonment issues that always surfaced when I was in a relationship. The man would become my main focus and I was only happy when I was with them. I knew it was a problem and the pressure on my boyfriend at the time was way too much. Through my own self exploration was I able to work on my own issues and get resolution to how I was feeling.

If you have a strong relationship and trust one another that is all that really matters. I believe your love will only grow over time with the right partner. We all travel from time to time for personal or business reasons and this is just a fact of life.

This is a personal choice and you should always do what’s best for you.

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Another part of new relationship growing pains are past relationships. No one wants to hear about the others ex’s. And of course we don’t want to be compared to your last relationship for better or worse. But, the reality is sometimes you just can’t help reliving someone’s past experiences. And what if their ex’s are still in the picture?

In a new relationship we want the focus to be all on us as if the past doesn’t exist. An example would be dating someone who has been married. I for one want to know what happened to the marriage and why it ended. And how is our relationship different from when you met your ex-spouse. The bottom line is you wonder will this happen to us?

Our past relationships and experiences are what shape us for the next relationship. I have learned so much about myself from my past boyfriends. I know my short comings and where I need to make adjustments for my next relationship. The bottom line is I now know the type of relationship I need and what works and doesn’t work for me. Everyone has baggage whether they want to admit it our not. We just don’t need someone baggage if it’s a truckload but we can deal with an overnight bags worth of the past.

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When you enter into a new relationship you can experience growing pains. What I mean is there is so much to learn about your partner and their behavior and it’s affect on you. I believe when your with the right person there is learning curve. We each bring into the relationship our past behavior and reactions that are in place to protect our hearts.

Some of us test our partners to see how committed they are to us and the new relationship. This can be done to make sure that this relationship will be different. Most of the time we are aware of what we’re doing but some times we are just repeating patterns and are not aware. What is most important is to just be yourself and show your true feelings for better or worse. I can’t hide a thing from anyone. I wear my heart on my sleeve and need someone who can just accept me for who I am. And I need to do the same for him.

Some of us go from relationship to relationship repeating the same patterns over and over. That is when you need to refocus on what type of relationship works best for you. When your with the right person there is a comfort that I describe as peaceful. Love can come to you when you least expect it but you have to stay open to it. Too many people have been hurt from past relationships and they are very guarded. Trust only comes over time as your love grows stronger and deeper. I believe everyone comes into our lives for a reason and to teach us things about ourselves.

So allow a new relationship to blossom and nurture and care for it. None of us are perfect and we shouldn’t expect our partner to be. Time will tell where the relationship is going. I don’t believe in timelines when it comes to love because each of us move at the pace that is best suited for us. Stay open and above all be honest with yourself and your partner.

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There is an inner peace that comes with being with the right partner. All the signs are there if you just listen to your inner voice.

Many people find themselves in relationships that don’t work for whatever reason. If your always anxious or keep picking on things that bug you this is a sign. You can go from relationship to relationship making the same mistake.

If you just sit quietly and listen to your inner voice you will find the answers you need. Trust yourself and honor your inner voice. It will guide you to the truth.

I can say that for the first time in my life that I’m with a man who is right for me and my higher good. I have an inner peace and calm that I have never experienced before. Most of the time I’m anxious and unsure as to where the relationship is going or if this person has my best interest at heart.

It is only through my self discovery that I have been able to see clearly what type of man I need to be with. It wasn’t pretty nor fun to really look at the truth. But, I’m so glad I rode the wave of self discovery into my heart and soul.

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Friendship is a very important part of your relationship. What I think everyone needs is a best friend, lover and partner to make a relationship work. If you have all three with your partner it will be much easier to get through the rough spots. You want the person to get to know and love all sides of you.

I for one have a very playful side to myself. I love to laugh and share this side of myself. There is nothing worse that being with someone who doesn’t really get you.

Over time I think that is what keeps the relationship moving forward. never hide who you truly are and have fun.

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As we get older and more settled in our own space to art of compromise is very important when you start dating someone new. It is so important for you both to keep an open mind and try not to judge the other too fast.

When your in your thirties and forties and have never been married compromise can be a struggle. I dated someone over six years ago and ended up moving into his place which was under renovation. He lived in his grandmother’s house so there was no way he was going anyway. His home was in a great location and there was no way he was going to give his place up. But, the relationship was a point of making more of a commitment. In the end it didn’t work out and I moved out.

Our careers and homes become an important part of our lives. Some people travel for work 3 or 4 times a week and this can be hard on your partner. You both own homes so then what do you do when the time comes to move the relationship further?

I can only speak for myself when it comes to what I would suggest or do myself in this situation. Although, I love my home and the area where I live for the ideal relationship, I would consider selling my place only if my partner was willing to do the same. The only exception for me would be if my partner owned a house in a town I would consider living in and I loved his place.

Although, I live in a condo at the moment I dream about owning my own house. I can close my eyes and visual the space and how I would like it to be. Since I have already been through living with someone and having it not work out I don’t think I would just move in with my partner. I would want us both to enter into this new phase of our lives together and make our living space a combined effort.

My suggestion to anyone in this position is to really think it through and make sure you will be happy with your decision. Life is about taking chances but when it comes to big decisions talk it through before you leap.

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There are two kinds of people when it comes to falling in love. Love at first sight or it takes you a while to know.

I have been in love four times in my life. Each time it has been love at first sight. There is a powerful connection when I first see the person. I am completely drawn to the man sometimes without even talking to him first. Is it destiny?

When I was in college I fell over heels with a guy but completely lost myself in him. He was everything to me which is not too healthy. Looking back 25 years later I know that I loved him very much but also that I shouldn’t have depended on him as much as I did. When we broke up I was devastated.

At the moment I am in love with the sweetest man but I am not consumed by the love. I was happy before I met him on my own. I can only describe him as the piece of the puzzle that was missing in my life. I am grounded and not out of control. There is a comfort level that is very peaceful.

Then you have the people whom it takes 5 or so dates to know if they are even interested in dating the person. Slow and steady! They may have a gut feeling about the person but need to be cautious. This is not a bad thing at all.

But, for me I need to stay true to my heart. I made the mistake about 6 years ago of dating a man who kind of grew on me. My gut said no but I wanted to give him a chance. He was very persistence and won me over but I was never in love with him. But, I did love him or so I thought. Again, he came into my life when my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer so I believe I just wanted to escape when what was really going on. Thank God I never married him. I moved in with him after a year of dating and 3 weeks later we broke up. It was the wrong thing to do but at the time I couldn’t get out of my own way to see the truth.

Which are you?

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How To Recover
There are so many ways to get through break ups. What works for one person doesn’t always work for another. Some get really depressed and lose hope while others don’t beat themselves up over the situation. You can usually get advice from friends and family but it doesn’t mean you need to do what anyone tells you. We all listen but do what we want in the end or until we feel ready to listen. Besides, different friends and family members are certain to over varying perspectives on how you should feel, what you should do to get over the person, and what your next course of action should be.

Advice on Recovery
I can tell you first hand that I’ve been in some long term relationships and have learned a lot. Letting go has always been hard for me and I’m still not the best at it but I am so much strong now and have learned so much about myself and what makes me tick. Chose your own method and try and work through it. Go out, cry, laugh, and talk until your friends want to put a sock in your mouth. Whatever you do learn from your relationships and try to figure out what it is you want and how to go after it.

Professional Help or Hiring a Coach
Therapy is the best medicine. For all of you who say “that’s for the weak,” you are so wrong! You can try and deal with all your feelings yourself or talk with friends and family if that works for you. But, talking to a professional who doesn’t know you as well can be much more objective and really help you focus on what’s really going on. A lot of us sabotage relationships all on our own due to past experiences. Maybe we have a commitment, intimacy and or communication problem. Why not invest in yourself and mental well being? Are you afraid of what you will discover or are you ready to face your fears and move on?

Spiritual
Believing in something or someone is an awesome experience. I was never too religious so when things got bad I wanted and needed something to believe in. So once I was unemployed for awhile and I started reading some books on spirituality. I started to believe that I had a higher power. It doesn’t have to be God or even a person. It can just be a thought or image. We are all here for a reason and it’s a journey to figure out what your path is.

Coping Methods
We all cope differently so pick what works. Exercise and working out regularly can help you cope and relax. Yoga classes are great for your mind as well as your body. Sometimes we just need to sit with our feeling and work through them. Keeping a journal is a great way to get your feeling out. Plus, looking back and seeing what you have written can blow your mind. Meditate if you like. Get into your work and just do your very best. Buy a pet or go shopping. If you’re a man, go out and get some toys or build something. These are effective ways to spend time on a project and get time to help you.

Pity Party
This is not the best option but it works for some people. Have the party alone or ask your friends to join you. But, you only get ONE. It solves nothing but is a great way to cry or get some attention from loved ones.

Check out my other dating articles!

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I think we all have been in a relationship at least once in our lifetime that really isn’t going anywhere. You know when you want more and your partner doesn’t. The most important thing is too not get in too far before you make a big mistake such as move in together or get engaged.

About 10 years ago I met a guy named Bill through a dating service. He was crazy about me right away but I wasn’t feeling it at all. He was nothing like any of my past boyfriends in every sense of the way. It didn’t matter if I was bitchy or passive he didn’t seem to care. He would bring me flowers each date and call me everyday. So I bet your wondering so what’s so bad about that? I never was into guys who kissed my butt all the time. As a matter of fact I found this a total turn off.

But, I started questioning myself about whether I was just trying to protect myself from being hurt and getting too close. I keep saying be open and go with the flow. So I did just that and let my guard down. So for about 4 months things were going great and I was really enjoying myself although he still wasn’t my ideal match. The next thing I know he’s telling me he loves me and I realized I loved him. Or did I?
Then BAM he breaks up with me out of the clear blue. One day he loves me and the next he’s gone. I was so upset but I wasn’t sure at who. It was as if he wore me down until I gave in. At the same time my sister found out she had breast cancer so I was a mess. Bill came crawling back and said he made a mistake and what do you think I did? That’s right I took him back. How stupid was that? This happened 3 times and each time I took him back. This was way before I had my act together when it came to men. The last straw was on the day I moved in with him and knew I had made the worst mistake of my life. We lasted 3 weeks and I moved out. Two months later he called and wanted to see me to talk. Now he wanted to get engaged. It was as if a brick hit him on the head and he’s now ready for a commitment now. Thank God I came to my senses and just walked away.

I realized that I only took him back so many times because it was easier than dealing with my sister’s cancer. I just didn’t want to be alone. My sister went through a year of treatments and I was the only family member close by so there was alot of pressure on me.

At this point in my life I would never stay in a relationship that wasn’t working or meeting my needs. If I had gone with my gut or the voice within I would have never dated Bill. So the bottom line is go with your gut and honor your inner voice because we all have the answers within.

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