One of the hardest things in a relationship is when one of you are diagnosed with an illness such as cancer. If your just dating do you wonder if your partner will stick around?  It is sad to say that if one of you are looking for an out this is the time when your relationship is tested.  It is also a stressful time for you both due to for different reasons. This can either bring you closer or put a wedge between you.

I know this personally and I can tell you that the relationship is tested.  The stress level is very high.  I’m not sure who has it harder to tell you the truth. One of you is dealing with an illness and the other feels completely helpless because you can’t do a thing to make it better. But, in fact of having someone in your life that loves you completely and stand beside you in your time of need is huge. It’s down right beautiful if you ask me.  The best thing you can do is live your life for this moment and enjoy the time you have together.  In fact I think if you can get through to the otherside you will have a very strong relationship and your love will be even deeper for each other.  In the end talking and being open about how your feeling is the most important thing.  It will keep you grounded.

 

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If you asked my friends if I live in reality they would say “yes”.  Living  in a fairytale can only harm you and the ones you love. Every couple has their problems but it is up to each person to figure out their own role with the issues. Nothing can last forever and if you think it can you better wake up fast.

I’m not being negative at all but as a women in her mid-forties never married even I know love won’t last forever. I don’t believe we are meant to be with just one person our whole life. And I thank god I never married any of the men I dated years back.  I’m always changing and loving it.  It is only now that I have a clear understanding of what I want out of a relationship.  I’m finally with a great guy who adores me but he can’t be all things to me. I waited a long time to meet a man who loves me for all of me and gets me completely. But, it’s not perfect because nothing is. 

So whether your in a marriage going nowhere or your relationship is not turning out to be what you wanted, then you need to be brave and true to yourself.  All you can do is give it your best but don’t give up without trying to work things out. Fight for what you want and need. Never take the easy way out of life when it comes to anything because there is always great lessons to learn.  Consider a Relationship Coach or Couples Therapy.  As I always say “Honor your inner voice and allow it to guide you”.

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Vacations are a great way to really get to know one another.  It’s a time to get away from your daily routine and stress.  No phones ringing is the best ever!  A lot of people are nervous the first vacation they take with the person they’re dating. This is where you see if your mate can relax and just go with the flow.  Some people don’t do well going away let’s say to an island for a week with nothing to do but relax and have fun.  It’s a great test to see each other outside of our normal everyday lives.  We are all a little nervous the first time we travel with our new partner. But, hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised.

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In relationships our love is tested over and over.  At times each person will go through setbacks in life. You know the expression what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger?  Well, this is so true and I’m a perfect example of this with my own life struggles. 

Each of us need to take responsiblity of our own path in life. What we hope is that our partner can support us.  But, there can be limitations as to how your partner will react and deal with your own personal struggles. An example is my recent news of having breast cancer. Although, my cancer was caught early and I do need surgery to remove a small lump with possible radiation treatments I’m still scared as hell. My boyfriend has been very supportive and we are taking one step at a time. But, since my mom and sister are both breast cancer survivors I am the real deal.  So I don’t expect my boyfriend to totally understand what I’m going through. But, his love and support is such a comfort. The power of his love for me is helping me keep it together.  So remember we all deal with things in our own way and we have are own coping skills. Allow your partner to support you in his or her own way and never be afraid to ask for what you need.

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When there is conflict in a relationship it can be very upsetting. You have to ask yourself what is the reality of the situation. The blame can not be placed on just one of you.  What you need to do is try and see both sides.  Think of it as watching a movie and really seeing the characters.  This takes practice because most of the time we get all in our head and can’t see what is really going on. This used to be me but now I take a step back and see the reality of the situation.  You need to really listen and understand your partners view. 

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We all have our own style of communication. I for one never used to be able to communicate my true feelings out of fear of rejection. But, I found through a lot of hard inner work that I needed to face my own demons. Now I find it easy to speak my truth and allow others to have their own views. I always thought you needed to view things the same in order to keep the peace. This is just not so.  What you do need is common goals to make communication work.  Seeing somone elses views can be enlightening.  Try and stay open to others opinion and remember that there are always two sides. 

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Are you one of those people who say “Why Me” when a relationship ends? Check out Dating Resolutions for 2007.
The truth is we need to look within when a relationship ends to assess of role in the breakup. But, it is not always your fault. Remember that it takes 2 to make any relationship work. Try to look beyond all the self doubt and review what lessons you learned. Your getting one step closer to finding true love!

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There are times when one is tested within their relationships. It is very hard not to react when your partner’s behavior or words are hurtful. It can really push one’s buttons and your need to sort of what is their stuff and what is yours. I for one have learned not to react right away. I have the ability to look deeper and really see what is going on. We are all tested everyday in one way or another. If you react to everything you could make the situation worse. Step back and above all don’t take on your partners stuff. You partner could be testing you and your relationship which we all do.

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Being dishonest is never good in any relationship. In my opinion lies only come back to bite you in the butt. There are so many people who can’t even keep track of their own lies. If you are one of those people who feel the need to lie I suggest that you take a good long look inside. It is out of insecurities that make people lie because they don’t feel like they will be accepted.

I hear so many stories about deception in relationships that it scary. If you are able to give your heart completely to someone there is always risk involved. We all make mistakes and we are human. No one is perfect so why hide your imperfections?

The truth can only set you free. Be honest with your partner and trust that if they love you they will be supportive. And if not maybe you are with the wrong person. We are not here to judge one another even though we can get caught up in the drama of our lives.

I can tell you long ago I was afraid to tell people how I felt for fear they would leave me. But, once I took the time to work on myself and feel secure the fear just went away. I’m all about risking my heart for the bigger reward that life has to show me. Above all when your honest and speak the truth it’s a win win situation. The most important relationship is with yourself first.

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If someone will not discuss their past relationships with you is this a problem? I think it is a huge problem and one that needs to be explored. It just makes me think that they are hiding something or are afraid they will be judged.

When a relationship ends at first you deal with all of your emotions and feelings. But, when some time passes it’s important to look at what lessons were learned. We all need to take responsiblity for our role in any relationship. It is never just one persons fault because a relationship involves two parties.

What may be a good idea to get the discussion started is to ask what the person has learned about themselves in their past relationships. This could lead to your new partner talking about what he or she is afraid to share.

Try it because you have nothing to lose and it is a great way to learn about each other.

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