I could see if you’re about 16 years old or younger breaking up by sending a text. If you’re a grown adult this is funny but very sad. The younger generation is used to talking via text and video. But, if you are thirty or older texting that you want out of your relationship you need to do some soul searching. And, see a therapist or get a coach to help you learn how to confront someone on a sensitive matter. You need to have respect and empathy for the other person. Has this ever happened to you?

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Love should be easy right? Shouldn’t it just flow like the bumpy road of life? There is no way to know if today will be the day your heart gets broken.
Love comes and goes just like each day. This is why we need to live in the present and let go of exceptions. In my book Dating Ain’t For Sissies, Baby I talk about what single people need to do to start making changes to their approach when it comes to dating. Fear or feeling desperate clouds the reality of life. Each and everyone you come into contact with are in your life for a reason. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. Take the time to learn the lesson of this person and why they play a role. There are so many people out there that just want to blame someone else instead of themselves for their baggage. This is just one example to think about. Stay positive and strong and nothing or no one can get in your way to inner peace and happiness.

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I see two sides to this question. My first thought of course is we take out our frustrations on the one person we are closest to. I believe this is because the other person doesn’t have an open heart and refuses to look at the problem and just turn their attention and angry onto us. What I have learned this week (which I already knew) is never take on someone else’s issues. Even if the situation is huge!

Let’s say your partner gets drunk and wants to pick a fight. Don’t engage in the conversation and just remove yourself from the room. Who really believes it when someone says “you made me drink because I just can’t deal with you”. I have learned the hard way to stay grounded and believe in my heart and soul this has nothing to do with me. This is called emotional abuse no matter what the situation is. But, if you become angry and defensive just count to ten and just breathe. Who the hell doesn’t want to defend themselves so dig deep because your power is within.

People can be so mean when their life sucks and I’m not just talking about partners. This happens with friends, family, Supervisors and anyone else.

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The ex factor is plan and simple to me since I have been on both sides. It is very rare that two people who were in love and intimate to be just friends when they split up. I’m not saying it can’t work but it’s hard. Some feeling just never go away and it can get in the way of a new relationship. If both parties are involved with other people it could work. It takes a secure person and a lot of trust to be OK with the ex in the picture.

Does the attraction and chemistry just go away? We are all human and have to be honest about the law of attraction with the ex. I can be honest and say that it took years for me to stop wanting to get back together with a long lost boyfriend. For both of us it was just to know we could have each other again. Old wounds exposed and resurfacing is not all that much fun.

So, just ask yourself the basic question of why is this so important to cling onto the ex. And aren’t you just fooling yourself….

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When you’re having second thoughts about a relationship it is not cut and dry. Most of the time we look at the person were dating as the problem. You need to explore your actions and reactions. This is not easy to do because so many people want to blame the other person. Being empowered in this situation means having the courage to look within and find the truth.

Any relationship without some tension or disagreements is not a real relationship. Love is the ups and downs and joy and sorrow. My own relationship has times when both of us want to walk away. But, when we look at what is going on for each of us we see the truth. Honor these times whatever the outcome may be. Take time apart if you need it. I am not referring to a breakup.

Every aspect of our lives is work. And it maybe scary but it’s well worth the effort. If you need help don’t be afraid to ask.

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None of us are perfect and at times our evil side comes out and there is no turning back. I for one am a very calm person and it takes a great deal to get me mad. When in the middle of a disagreement it can be very hard to just breath and not react. Most of the time when you fight with someone it isn’t even about the issue at hand. It could be a built up of tension from something that happened yesterday.

If you get in a heated conversation and each of you feels the need to have the last word someone needs to walk away. You can walk outside pissed off and calm down or go for a drive. Then when you’re ready ask the person to take a walk and talk. The funny thing is what you’re really fighting about will not be the same for both of you.

What is most important is to give each other space. I used to want to resolve the issue right away and now I just let it be. I even let it go most of the time and know this is just how the other person is and that is not my problem nor do I need to feel the need to change their mind.

Learn from the fight and try and gain a better understanding of where the other person is coming from. And, think about your own behavior and what changes you can make.

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Is this true? My thoughts on this subject are simple. Unless, you have taken steps to figure out why you cheat it will most likely happen again. I just heard a story about a women in her 70’s who remarried her husband after 17 years of being divorced. He cheated on her, then his second wife and lastly her once again. Everyone is calling the man a total jerk. I agree but let’s be honest here, you really thought it wouldn’t happen again?

The matters of the heart are risky so don’t let anyone fool you. It’s a gamble and if you’re lucky your heart will not get broken. Better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. I totally believe this and in life it is all about taking risks and putting yourself out there. Just be smart about your choices. Be honest with yourself and above all and honor your inner voice. It will guide you if you choose to follow.

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If you’re in a relationship that is going through a tough time and on the edge of breaking up try a quiet vacation. It could just be a way to fall in love all over again. Yes, it is a risk but if you both want to save the relationship it is worth it. Love doesn’t come easy nor does the hard times over the years.

We each go through stressful times and it can be a balancing act in a way. If you are able to not take on the other’s mood and stay centered it’s the only way to cope. Not everyone (mostly men) will not even consider going to couples therapy. Whether therapy gets you closer or ends the relationship it is a great coping tool. So I say going on a little vacation and see where it leads. And of course a relationship coach is a smart way to go.

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Everyone needs a little time alone. It is good for the soul and can recharge you! When your in a relationship this is so important. Too many people do what their partner wants to do and puts their own desires aside. Don’t do this! You will not be a happy camper in the long run. Try taking a weekend and doing your own thing. See friends that you have been putting off visiting with.

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My heart goes out to those men dealing with their wife, partner or family member going through Breast Cancer.  When there is no real way to totally understand what the women are going through.  This YOU just can’t fix so instead there are times when you feel helpless.

 

What is most important is that you get the support you need because dealing with the illness is also hard on you.  Talk to your friends or family but you must deal with what’s going on or it will keep building up inside and then it is like a bomb going off.  I will be talking about this more on my site at a later date. There are several sites that have “partner advocates” for men dealing with their partner who has cancer.  Anyone who is the primary caregiver needs just as much support.  Any questions please feel free to write me.  You are never alone!

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