The ex factor is plan and simple to me since I have been on both sides. It is very rare that two people who were in love and intimate to be just friends when they split up. I’m not saying it can’t work but it’s hard. Some feeling just never go away and it can get in the way of a new relationship. If both parties are involved with other people it could work. It takes a secure person and a lot of trust to be OK with the ex in the picture.

Does the attraction and chemistry just go away? We are all human and have to be honest about the law of attraction with the ex. I can be honest and say that it took years for me to stop wanting to get back together with a long lost boyfriend. For both of us it was just to know we could have each other again. Old wounds exposed and resurfacing is not all that much fun.

So, just ask yourself the basic question of why is this so important to cling onto the ex. And aren’t you just fooling yourself….

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When you’re having second thoughts about a relationship it is not cut and dry. Most of the time we look at the person were dating as the problem. You need to explore your actions and reactions. This is not easy to do because so many people want to blame the other person. Being empowered in this situation means having the courage to look within and find the truth.

Any relationship without some tension or disagreements is not a real relationship. Love is the ups and downs and joy and sorrow. My own relationship has times when both of us want to walk away. But, when we look at what is going on for each of us we see the truth. Honor these times whatever the outcome may be. Take time apart if you need it. I am not referring to a breakup.

Every aspect of our lives is work. And it maybe scary but it’s well worth the effort. If you need help don’t be afraid to ask.

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None of us are perfect and at times our evil side comes out and there is no turning back. I for one am a very calm person and it takes a great deal to get me mad. When in the middle of a disagreement it can be very hard to just breath and not react. Most of the time when you fight with someone it isn’t even about the issue at hand. It could be a built up of tension from something that happened yesterday.

If you get in a heated conversation and each of you feels the need to have the last word someone needs to walk away. You can walk outside pissed off and calm down or go for a drive. Then when you’re ready ask the person to take a walk and talk. The funny thing is what you’re really fighting about will not be the same for both of you.

What is most important is to give each other space. I used to want to resolve the issue right away and now I just let it be. I even let it go most of the time and know this is just how the other person is and that is not my problem nor do I need to feel the need to change their mind.

Learn from the fight and try and gain a better understanding of where the other person is coming from. And, think about your own behavior and what changes you can make.

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Is this true? My thoughts on this subject are simple. Unless, you have taken steps to figure out why you cheat it will most likely happen again. I just heard a story about a women in her 70’s who remarried her husband after 17 years of being divorced. He cheated on her, then his second wife and lastly her once again. Everyone is calling the man a total jerk. I agree but let’s be honest here, you really thought it wouldn’t happen again?

The matters of the heart are risky so don’t let anyone fool you. It’s a gamble and if you’re lucky your heart will not get broken. Better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. I totally believe this and in life it is all about taking risks and putting yourself out there. Just be smart about your choices. Be honest with yourself and above all and honor your inner voice. It will guide you if you choose to follow.

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If you’re in a relationship that is going through a tough time and on the edge of breaking up try a quiet vacation. It could just be a way to fall in love all over again. Yes, it is a risk but if you both want to save the relationship it is worth it. Love doesn’t come easy nor does the hard times over the years.

We each go through stressful times and it can be a balancing act in a way. If you are able to not take on the other’s mood and stay centered it’s the only way to cope. Not everyone (mostly men) will not even consider going to couples therapy. Whether therapy gets you closer or ends the relationship it is a great coping tool. So I say going on a little vacation and see where it leads. And of course a relationship coach is a smart way to go.

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Everyone needs a little time alone. It is good for the soul and can recharge you! When your in a relationship this is so important. Too many people do what their partner wants to do and puts their own desires aside. Don’t do this! You will not be a happy camper in the long run. Try taking a weekend and doing your own thing. See friends that you have been putting off visiting with.

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My heart goes out to those men dealing with their wife, partner or family member going through Breast Cancer.  When there is no real way to totally understand what the women are going through.  This YOU just can’t fix so instead there are times when you feel helpless.

 

What is most important is that you get the support you need because dealing with the illness is also hard on you.  Talk to your friends or family but you must deal with what’s going on or it will keep building up inside and then it is like a bomb going off.  I will be talking about this more on my site at a later date. There are several sites that have “partner advocates” for men dealing with their partner who has cancer.  Anyone who is the primary caregiver needs just as much support.  Any questions please feel free to write me.  You are never alone!

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One of the hardest things in a relationship is when one of you are diagnosed with an illness such as cancer. If your just dating do you wonder if your partner will stick around?  It is sad to say that if one of you are looking for an out this is the time when your relationship is tested.  It is also a stressful time for you both due to for different reasons. This can either bring you closer or put a wedge between you.

I know this personally and I can tell you that the relationship is tested.  The stress level is very high.  I’m not sure who has it harder to tell you the truth. One of you is dealing with an illness and the other feels completely helpless because you can’t do a thing to make it better. But, in fact of having someone in your life that loves you completely and stand beside you in your time of need is huge. It’s down right beautiful if you ask me.  The best thing you can do is live your life for this moment and enjoy the time you have together.  In fact I think if you can get through to the otherside you will have a very strong relationship and your love will be even deeper for each other.  In the end talking and being open about how your feeling is the most important thing.  It will keep you grounded.

 

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If you asked my friends if I live in reality they would say “yes”.  Living  in a fairytale can only harm you and the ones you love. Every couple has their problems but it is up to each person to figure out their own role with the issues. Nothing can last forever and if you think it can you better wake up fast.

I’m not being negative at all but as a women in her mid-forties never married even I know love won’t last forever. I don’t believe we are meant to be with just one person our whole life. And I thank god I never married any of the men I dated years back.  I’m always changing and loving it.  It is only now that I have a clear understanding of what I want out of a relationship.  I’m finally with a great guy who adores me but he can’t be all things to me. I waited a long time to meet a man who loves me for all of me and gets me completely. But, it’s not perfect because nothing is. 

So whether your in a marriage going nowhere or your relationship is not turning out to be what you wanted, then you need to be brave and true to yourself.  All you can do is give it your best but don’t give up without trying to work things out. Fight for what you want and need. Never take the easy way out of life when it comes to anything because there is always great lessons to learn.  Consider a Relationship Coach or Couples Therapy.  As I always say “Honor your inner voice and allow it to guide you”.

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Vacations are a great way to really get to know one another.  It’s a time to get away from your daily routine and stress.  No phones ringing is the best ever!  A lot of people are nervous the first vacation they take with the person they’re dating. This is where you see if your mate can relax and just go with the flow.  Some people don’t do well going away let’s say to an island for a week with nothing to do but relax and have fun.  It’s a great test to see each other outside of our normal everyday lives.  We are all a little nervous the first time we travel with our new partner. But, hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised.

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