When your writing a profile for any internet dating site be honest. Above all, be honest with yourself and take some time to figure out what you want to say. Too many people dance around certain issues. Try not to be too general because you will sound like the next person.

This is the perfect place to say what your looking for in a partner. Don’t be afraid to put it all on the line. When I was on Match.com I was very straight forward about who I am and whom I was looking for. I didn’t care if men were turned off by what I wrote. One thing that used to bug me on Match was men who just winked me and didn’t take the time to send an email. Most of the time these men never even read my profile first and based the wink on my pictures. You can always see who viewed your profile online. If they viewed my profile and winked that was ok but if they didn’t even bother to see what I was all about I would not respond. Even if they seems like a good match. In fact, I even went as far as to say I don’t not respond to anyone who just winks.

I was as honest as possible and had strong core beliefs about who I was looking for in a partner. I showed my serious side and my playful side in my profile. Humor is a must for me so if you got what I said that was great. I was not looking for a “hook up” so I stated that fact but sure enough men who were looking to get lucky and use the internet as a pick up bar would write.

Just beware that manyy people do lie and mislead you but if you use common sense you can weed out the players. Do your research and figure out which site meets your requirements. Also, I have said many times on my blog don’t take rejection to heart. It’s a numbers game…sometimes it takes ten no thank you for one I would like to meet you. Go with you gut when writing your profile or responding to others.

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You would think that internet dating would be simple but in fact it is very complex. Not everyone is looking for the same thing. In fact all it really takes in common sense when you really thing about it.

Women want to understand why men play some many games online and guess what men want to understand the same thing. I have talked with many men and women and discussed their frustrations with the whole internet dating scene.

As for the men and what they have a hard time dealing with is women who want to be a couple as of the first date. Women seem to want to rush right in before testing the waters. Or, they act as if they are really interested in you and then never return your calls.

And the women want to know are men just looking for sex when they are on the internet. I heard a lot of women say if they don’t have sex with the guy on the second date the man is gone and never heard from again. Or, the men tell you everything you want to hear prior to meeting but once you meet them they are nothing as they have described.

Here is what you need to know. Use common sense when you join an Internet Dating site. And above all be realistic. The internet has a large number of dating sites out there and you should do your research before you join. Browse profiles first before you make a decision. Profiles tell you a lot about a person and what they are looking for. It is quite obvious by what people if they are truly looking for a relationship or just to have fun. All profiles to be brief as possible and straight to the point of who you are and the person you’re looking to meet. Put you personality into the profile and be honest.

There are so many people that lie in their profile and it just makes me laugh. Why not be upfront as to what your about or looking for. If you’re interested in having a relationship then say it and describe what type you’re looking for. And if you’re looking just for sex pick the best site suited for that audience.

Also, always use a recent photo of yourself. Not a picture of you that is 10 years old. Trust me when I say using a soap opera stars photo is not a good idea. I can remember when I was on Match.com and saw a TV stars photo on a profile I was in shock. I even went as far as to write him and “wow you look just like so and so. Another time I was writing back and forth with a guy who used a picture of a model as his photo. He had asked me for an additional photo of myself so I agreed if he would do the same. When I got the photo he was bald and overweight. I was not to happy and let him know. But, of course he called be shallow but in fact I would never trust a person who misrepresented himself. And the other thing is don’t lie about your age it is just plain stupid.

When you meet someone from the internet think of it as a Meet and Greet. This is not a real first date and makes no mistake about that. You need to meet the person to decide if you actually want a first date. So don’t put so much pressure on yourself or have too high of expectations. Lately, make it short and sweet when you meet and if you’re both are interested make plans for a real date. Don’t be fooled by all the emailing or phone calls and think this is the person of your dreams. You could feel like it is a bad dream. Trust me I have made this mistake once and I’ll never do it again. Above all just have fun and remember it’s just a meet and greet.

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There is no easy answer here. At times it can feel like a part time job but in fact it does take up a lot of your time. The question I would ask is it worth it? The answer is yes but you need to not take it so personally. What I mean is there any rejection you may feel is not really about you. These people don’t know you but are judging you by your picture and profile. Don’t ever assume you know why someone didn’t write you back.

Remember that there are people that just browse and write but have no intention of following through. They may just be testing the waters or think it’s a game. When your looking for a new relationship on the internet you just need to weed through the emails and and profiles and see if there is common ground. Some people are just looking for a hook up for the night. This isn’t let’s make a deal unless that is what your looking for. Match.com comes has become one big pick up bar online. This is mostly because of all the heavy advertising. I personally have experienced men who just want sex and even phone sex. Boy, to me this is the biggest waste of time. And what about the people who say their the best kisser around? Are we supposed to meet them and even think they are looking for a relationship? The answer is NO!

Now for everyone who is trying to find their soul mate please keep the faith. Just stay focus on what you want and it will come to you in time. There are men and women looking for the real thing and you will find it. Just be smart about the people you communicate with.

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If you are 5′7 but your profile says 5′10 don’t you think women are going to notice when you meet? If the woman is 5′10 you can bet she will notice. It makes me think of an episode of Sex in the city when Samantha met a guy in a bar and when he stood up he was about 5’3. This just happened to my new co-worker last night. “Great looking guy with a HUGE ego and a little body”.

Anyone who feels they have to lie is very insecure with who they are. So I suggest getting you act together before even thinking of putting a profile online. Not even thinks internet dating sites are a game. If you’re a player than say your just looking to hook up. I’m not attacking just the men because we all know women can play games just as well.

There are so many single people just trying to meet the right person. All the lying does is disappoint, anger, and turn people off to internet dating. If you’re into games go to Friend Finders and leave the nice people alone.

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If your feeling frustrated with internet dating I suggest you take a break. Sometimes people feel like searching for a mate is a part time job. It’s hard for singles not too caught up in the whole process. We begin to start questioning whether it worth the time and money.

I think the older we get the less options we feel we have. We all can remember all the time we spent out at bars or dance clubs with our friends. But, once we hit our mid- thirties it’s not so much fun anymore. Why not spend some time doing something that will get you out and around your peers? Spring is coming and there is so much more to do.

I for one can only take the dating sites for a short period at a time. But, the more you do it you seem to get clear on who your looking for. If it wasn’t for the internet I wouldn’t have explore meeting different types of men. Half the men I have met I would have never even given a chance if I met them some other way. I feel like I have a clear picture of the man I’m looking for.

So take the break and stop feeling so pressured to meet someone. Give youself credit for putting yourself out there because at least your doing something to meet singles.

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What is wrong with the men on match.com? One of my closest friends who is a total cutie with a great profile gets hardly any responses. She is secure enough to email men and she gets nothing back. This only tells me most of the men are not really looking for a relationship. It makes no sense because most men find her very attractive , a great sense of humor and very down to earth.

Or maybe the men find her to straight forward and they can’t play games with her because she will know what’s up. I have another girlfriend who is very pretty and the same thing happens. You would think if you just based your interest on looks the responses would just keep coming. Both women are over forty and successful women with alot to offer.

Match has been getting a lot of bad press in the past six months. I’m starting to think it is the worst site out there. It’s like on big pick up joint. I’m going to do some research on other sites that maybe a better option.

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Most of the time people will lie about being married online in order to meet people. As I talked about yesterday you can see who has viewed your profile online. So I just saw a profile with the headline “Married and Lonely”.

On one hand it really bugs me that married men go on sites like Match. But, on the other hand he is letting you know from the start that he’s married and not happy. I would like the married folks should go to adult friend finders. LOL!

It would be so easy for me to say “hey if your that unhappy get a divorce”. I know at least 5 men that are unhappy in their marriages but are staying until the children go off to college. Only 2 of the guys I know would have affairs.

There is really not alot more to say on the subject. I’m guessing there are many people out there that wouldn’t have a problem getting involved with someone married.

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Some dating sites allow you to see who has viewed your profile. I really like this concept of seeing who has viewed your profile. But, here is my question. Why do people view your profile over and over again and never bother to contact you?

So I decieded to test out this theory and contact 2 men that view my profile at least every other day. I simply write that I noticed you viewed my profile so I thought I’d write you. One of the men just blocked me completely which I got a kick out of. What’s up with that? I guess he felt stupid because I knew he kept looking at my profile. And the other guy I just winked on Match. It took 3 days for him to respond to me. His email was one line that basically said nothing.

I would like to get one honest answer as to why they view the profile so much if they aren’t interested in you. So I’ll let you know if I get a reply but I doubt I will. If you are going to sign up for the service why not use it!

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There are times when internet dating can be very confusing. You begin to second guess who your looking for by the responses you get. What I mean is what if your 45 and only much older men or women write you.

Try not to take this to heart. Stick to you guns and wait until someone who you find interesting comes along. The problem is sometimes men or women want to date only much younger people.

What I suggest is start writing people that your interested in. Don’t always wait to be written to. In this day and age women should not have any problem writing men. It’s not like the stone age where a men has to make the first move. Your paying for a service so you should get as much out of the site as possible.

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I received an email from a guy on match yesterday. PROOF READ YOUR PROFILE! Not only did he have spelling errors in his headlines but also throughout his profile. He said he was “an iltelgent engennior”. I don’t know about you but that is a huge issue for me. Also, I hate when profiles are all written in CAPS. Most of us know that when you use CAPS it means YELLING!

We all make spelling errors but if you can’t spell your occupation you should really work on this. I had dyslexia as a child and try and be very careful with my spelling and grammar.

The bottom line is you are limiting the number of responses by not proof reading your profile. I can offer assistance writing profiles. Check out my coaching and consulting services if you want some help.

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