 |
 |
||||||||
|
|||||||||
I was interviewed by Olivia Buckwheat Kelly for an article about internet dating called Wingmen on the world wide web. Check it out at www.iverb.com This is a very honest and funny article about dating on the web. Check it out and let me know your thoughts.
When you’re having second thoughts about a relationship it is not cut and dry. Most of the time we look at the person were dating as the problem. You need to explore your actions and reactions. This is not easy to do because so many people want to blame the other person. Being empowered in this situation means having the courage to look within and find the truth.
Any relationship without some tension or disagreements is not a real relationship. Love is the ups and downs and joy and sorrow. My own relationship has times when both of us want to walk away. But, when we look at what is going on for each of us we see the truth. Honor these times whatever the outcome may be. Take time apart if you need it. I am not referring to a breakup.
Every aspect of our lives is work. And it maybe scary but it’s well worth the effort. If you need help don’t be afraid to ask.
What do you think? There are many people out there that enjoy being single. And, not for reasons that you would think. It isn’t that they have so much baggage that they could sink a ship. Or they just can’t commit.
Times have changed and so have the views of not wanting to run to the alter or settle down. I have a couple friends that say their life is fulfilled. I don’t think you are truly alone if you have a good circle of friends and family. If you are not planning on having children is one reason people stay single.
These days a lot of men and women 35 and older find a way to get their needs met. Some just want a friend with benefits. There is so much judgement on this subject that really makes me laugh. It’s better than being with someone that you have no interest in a future with but enjoy the time you spend together. It is a mutual choice and it works for some.
Women make just as much as men now and can take care of themselves. I say good for you! And for men who don’t want a family and are happy being single the same goes for you. When I think of being old I have to say I picture myself hanging out with my girlfriends. My friends and I joke about it but it could happen if we out live our men.
None of us are perfect and at times our evil side comes out and there is no turning back. I for one am a very calm person and it takes a great deal to get me mad. When in the middle of a disagreement it can be very hard to just breath and not react. Most of the time when you fight with someone it isn’t even about the issue at hand. It could be a built up of tension from something that happened yesterday.
If you get in a heated conversation and each of you feels the need to have the last word someone needs to walk away. You can walk outside pissed off and calm down or go for a drive. Then when you’re ready ask the person to take a walk and talk. The funny thing is what you’re really fighting about will not be the same for both of you.
What is most important is to give each other space. I used to want to resolve the issue right away and now I just let it be. I even let it go most of the time and know this is just how the other person is and that is not my problem nor do I need to feel the need to change their mind.
Learn from the fight and try and gain a better understanding of where the other person is coming from. And, think about your own behavior and what changes you can make.
