Dating someone who has Baggage!
Is dating someone without baggage possible? Let’s be honest everyone has some baggage. We always see on dating site profiles “no baggage please”. It is just a matter of how big is your baggage. Is it the size of a carry on bag or a trunk?
I don’t know about you but having been through sh*t in your life make you either stronger or you let it weigh you down. It’s your choice on how you live your life and what you chose to let go of. I myself could make a list of all the drama in my life but I’ll tell you it has only made me stronger and more secure.
So I’ve been dating a girl now for a little more than a year who is 23 years old. She has a son who is 5yrs old. Yes, she got caught up with things when she was younger that were not smart, and honestly, I feel sort of trashy when I hear about them. But I look at her now and I know she has come along way.
My problem is this. I feel very strongly for this girl. We have kept the child out of it. She is religous, I’m atheist. Her family is very religious as well and they sound like they are complicated all on there own. And I think her mother would hound me for being atheist everytime the family had a get together if we took it to the next step of actually being a real couple. My family has met her once a long time ago and they think I can do better. She might sound a bit immature at times but I do love her and she has qualities that are wonderful too. My gut says say good bye, but when we have talked about it, I loose it and can’t believe that she will not be in my life. Despite our differences, I’m in love with her and when we are together alone doing anything, I’m quite happy. The stress of what people think gets to me I guess and I’m ashamed to say that. now the other issue….
I’m looking at working and traveling abroad. She really could not come for obvious reasons and I’m not sure I want to go now because of her. I really want to travel and I really want to figure out my work passions in life but again, the way I feel about her makes me want to find happiness together and take a HUGE HUGE gamble on many levels as you can see. I’m just confused and extremly complacient over the whole situation and have been for some time. Any advice that I prob have already heard?
The only advise I could give is you need to stay true to yourself. No one should give up their life’s dream such as working or traveling abroad. Loving someone is never just enough to make a relationship work. It would be helpful to know your age. The only other comment I want to make is we are who we are today and our past does not define us. Your girlfriend is very young and has a lot of living to do and we all make mistakes along the way. If I defined myself by my past and not who I am today it would not be pretty.
Thank for your response. I’m 25. 26 in a few months and I understand what you are saying. I just don’t want to understand it and love how I feel about the person. Thank you for some of your advice.
Although…what do you think about the religion issue? I have been told from my family that this will be an issue and she has been told from hers that it will be down the road. I would never interfer with how her son was raised but if we have kids down the line, is there a way to compromise? As I said, I am atheist and she is Christian based.
Don’t you just hate when you don’t like the advise your given? I know it has happened to me. As for the whole religion issue it’s tough. You and your girlfriend would need to have a serious discussion about your family and having kids. No one said LOVE was easy. It is work no matter what.
Thanks again
Dear Confused Person:
I don’t know if you will see this or not…but I want to tell you to listen to your instincts (your gut)…it will not fail you. If your gut is telling you its not right, then it probably is not right. If on the other hand you get a warm fuzzy feeling without reservation then great, yippee! Only you know deep inside what your are feeling. It seems that this situation has alot going against it. Like dating warrior stated: stay true to yourself! Love can be tough! Best of luck.