Depression during the holidays
It is very common for single people to be depressed during the holiday season. It is all about your loved ones and family. Always remember even when your not dating there are plenty of people in your life that love you and care for you.
What is must important is treat yourself with kindness during the holidays. Focus on what you have and not what is missing. We all have things to be grateful for so stay positive. Make a wish list for 2007. Write down all you hope, desires and wishes for the new year. Ask for what you want in a positive way to your higher power and watch what can happen. It will keep you on the positive path.
I always love the generic advice focusing on what you have versus what you don’t as an effective coping mechanism during the holidays for singles. I also love how i should rememeber that I have loved ones that care for me. I come froma faimly that doesnt understand any part of what it’s like to remain single well into mid life and had never been supportive or encouraging for the life path I’ve taken. Its bad enough that as single in my mid 30s, I have to subject myself to perpetual ads on TV, radio and the internet that Xmas is all about sharing and caring for your loved ones (this year is easily a record for jewelry ads during Sunday football games). The media’s impact on singles today is staggering!! THe collective message to have love, marriage, and faimly in your life as a pre-requisite for happiness and meaning in life eclipses your simple message to just be happy with what you have…
I never married becasue I have standards and I also dont tolerate the constant male bashing your gender loves to do. This is my reward for having character and values.
PS- I’ve done the 3 things you suggest for the last 10 years (focus on what I have and the people in my life that care for me, and make a wish list for the upcoming year in an attempt to draw the changes in life I seek.) Can you take a wild guess how that’s worked out for me?
I challenge you to offer better advice for singles.
It’s almost ‘08 and it’s, well,another holiday season and another girlfriendless season. Like Jim posted last year, I’ve got standards. I’m well into my mid-30s. I’m single, most of my friends are married and raising families…etc. You’re all familiar with the story. You all know someone like me or Jim. Unlike Jim, I’ve sought help for my chronic depression. No I’m not “happy”, but I’m not misreable either. Although Jims message is as pleasant as lemon juice in a paper cut, he does have some valid points.
So what can you, do if you’re in Jims shoes.
#1. Don’t dwell on it. That is the single most effective way to keep the unpleasant aspects of your life in your forebrain.
#2. Ignore TV, print and electronic advertisements not meant for you!
If you find the existence and prevalence of these TV ads overwhelmingly depressing, seek professional help. I’m not joking. I let things go way too long. I’ve actually had to take sick leave due to depression. Don’t let that happen to you! Ignoring the problem guarantees it will!
#3. Do something you enjoy! Yes it’s simple advice. But at least for the time you’re doing that you won’t be miserable. It gives your brain a rest from being depressed. This is a healthy thing. So like the “Nike” ad from ages ago said “Just Do It!”
#4. Don’t look to the internet for an answer. The internet cannot offer personalized advice, only a “coach”, therapist or psychiatrist that you see face to face can offer personalized advice. They read body language as well as listen to what you say to better communicate with you.
#5. Rent the movie “What about Bob?” While it’s “dumb funny” and not terribly enlightening; it does have some reasonable, although placatingly general, advice. And who knows maybe just by watching it you’ll have taken a vacation from your problems. (If you don’t get the joke, you need to rent the movie! Trust me! Hey after all you are trusting “coach marcie” she really could be a he… unless you two have met, how can you truly be sure? — No offense intended Marcie.)