I have gotten several emails asking for advice because singles are having trouble getting a second or third date. I personally know how frustrating this can be. Not every time you meet someone and there is no second date is it all about you. Especially if we are talking about someone you met online. I can stress enough that you need to think of a internet date as a “Meet and Greet”.

You need to relax on the first couple of dates and try to be yourself. Don’t try so hard to impress the other person. Or tell them your whole dating history and what went wrong. Just go with the flow as much as possible. I know how hard this can be trust me. And all those expectations!!!

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Can two strong personalities keep a relationship going? Compromising in a relationship is not always easy. I have always believed that love is just not enough in a relationship. It takes real work to make a relationship work. When you have two people with strong personalities it can be tough.

The only way it can work is if you both stay open to each others differences and beliefs. I can only speak for myself but I always try and see the other person’s side. You both need to be able to back down and just listen to the other.

I want someone who can accept me for who I am and this includes and the good and bad. I am by no means perfect nor would I expect this from them. Just be honest with yourself and your partner and what is meant to be will be.

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You would think that internet dating would be simple but in fact it is very complex. Not everyone is looking for the same thing. In fact all it really takes in common sense when you really thing about it.

Women want to understand why men play some many games online and guess what men want to understand the same thing. I have talked with many men and women and discussed their frustrations with the whole internet dating scene.

As for the men and what they have a hard time dealing with is women who want to be a couple as of the first date. Women seem to want to rush right in before testing the waters. Or, they act as if they are really interested in you and then never return your calls.

And the women want to know are men just looking for sex when they are on the internet. I heard a lot of women say if they don’t have sex with the guy on the second date the man is gone and never heard from again. Or, the men tell you everything you want to hear prior to meeting but once you meet them they are nothing as they have described.

Here is what you need to know. Use common sense when you join an Internet Dating site. And above all be realistic. The internet has a large number of dating sites out there and you should do your research before you join. Browse profiles first before you make a decision. Profiles tell you a lot about a person and what they are looking for. It is quite obvious by what people if they are truly looking for a relationship or just to have fun. All profiles to be brief as possible and straight to the point of who you are and the person you’re looking to meet. Put you personality into the profile and be honest.

There are so many people that lie in their profile and it just makes me laugh. Why not be upfront as to what your about or looking for. If you’re interested in having a relationship then say it and describe what type you’re looking for. And if you’re looking just for sex pick the best site suited for that audience.

Also, always use a recent photo of yourself. Not a picture of you that is 10 years old. Trust me when I say using a soap opera stars photo is not a good idea. I can remember when I was on Match.com and saw a TV stars photo on a profile I was in shock. I even went as far as to write him and “wow you look just like so and so. Another time I was writing back and forth with a guy who used a picture of a model as his photo. He had asked me for an additional photo of myself so I agreed if he would do the same. When I got the photo he was bald and overweight. I was not to happy and let him know. But, of course he called be shallow but in fact I would never trust a person who misrepresented himself. And the other thing is don’t lie about your age it is just plain stupid.

When you meet someone from the internet think of it as a Meet and Greet. This is not a real first date and makes no mistake about that. You need to meet the person to decide if you actually want a first date. So don’t put so much pressure on yourself or have too high of expectations. Lately, make it short and sweet when you meet and if you’re both are interested make plans for a real date. Don’t be fooled by all the emailing or phone calls and think this is the person of your dreams. You could feel like it is a bad dream. Trust me I have made this mistake once and I’ll never do it again. Above all just have fun and remember it’s just a meet and greet.

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There is no easy answer here. At times it can feel like a part time job but in fact it does take up a lot of your time. The question I would ask is it worth it? The answer is yes but you need to not take it so personally. What I mean is there any rejection you may feel is not really about you. These people don’t know you but are judging you by your picture and profile. Don’t ever assume you know why someone didn’t write you back.

Remember that there are people that just browse and write but have no intention of following through. They may just be testing the waters or think it’s a game. When your looking for a new relationship on the internet you just need to weed through the emails and and profiles and see if there is common ground. Some people are just looking for a hook up for the night. This isn’t let’s make a deal unless that is what your looking for. Match.com comes has become one big pick up bar online. This is mostly because of all the heavy advertising. I personally have experienced men who just want sex and even phone sex. Boy, to me this is the biggest waste of time. And what about the people who say their the best kisser around? Are we supposed to meet them and even think they are looking for a relationship? The answer is NO!

Now for everyone who is trying to find their soul mate please keep the faith. Just stay focus on what you want and it will come to you in time. There are men and women looking for the real thing and you will find it. Just be smart about the people you communicate with.

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All relationships have their ups and downs. As the years go by you always need to work on your relationships. No one ever said it would be easy but if you can just flow with it your relationships have a better chance of going the distance. I’m not just referring to love relationships but all of your relationships. Some of us change while others don’t. We can not always be on the same page at the same time.

As we age our likes and dislikes seem to increase little by little. Sometimes we just drift apart without even a word. I can remember when my best friend of 16 years just stopped communicating with me. I made every effort to try and find out what happened but was not successful. Then 10 years later I found out her sister was murdered in Mexico and there was no way I could not send a note or attend the service. I was so nervous to see her but knew this was the right thing. When she was leaving the church our eyes met and and I knew I did the right thing. When she walked into the reception we just hugged and cried together. Nothing needed to be said. We have been best friends since this day and we are both so happy to have each other back in our lives.

When it comes to love relationships you need to always do the work to keep it fresh. It is like a garden that needs to be cared for. You know those couples who seem perfect well it isn’t always the case. I can remember as a child everyone thought my parents were the greatest. But, of course they weren’t around to see the truth. I learned very important lessons growing up in a disfunctional house. But, I was determined not to be like my parents. I can say that when I see my behavior that mirrors my mother I just get so pissed off at myself.

Oh course my parents did the best they could. As I got older I started to understand that they had their own demons and struggles and it must have been very hard. But, what they didn’t do was work on their relationship to make it grow. My dad died of cancer about 15 years ago so I don’t know what would have happened to their marriage. If I knew then what I know now I would have worked alot harder to have a better relationship with my dad.

In the end none of us are perfect and we can not expect perfection from anyone. We need to love and accept each other for who we are. There are some of us that continue to work on our own personal development and grow while others do nothing to improve their lives. This either works for you or it doesn’t. Just be the best you can and stay true to your dreams.

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