Does dating someone who travels for work put added pressure on a relationship? The answer is different for everyone.

If you independent most likely you can deal with someone traveling for business. You have your own career and life to focus on. The time sent together is precise and you make the most of it. The bottom line is you are able to create your own schedule and not sit around wondering when you will see your partner next.

On the other hand there are some people who can’t deal with separation. They have a tendency to put all their focus on their partner. They feel lost without them. This is a major sign that you need to do some work on yourself. We can not rely on one person to make our lives meaningful and secure. We think the person will save us from our own personal demons that do not allow us to be independent.

When I was younger I had major abandonment issues that always surfaced when I was in a relationship. The man would become my main focus and I was only happy when I was with them. I knew it was a problem and the pressure on my boyfriend at the time was way too much. Through my own self exploration was I able to work on my own issues and get resolution to how I was feeling.

If you have a strong relationship and trust one another that is all that really matters. I believe your love will only grow over time with the right partner. We all travel from time to time for personal or business reasons and this is just a fact of life.

This is a personal choice and you should always do what’s best for you.

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Another part of new relationship growing pains are past relationships. No one wants to hear about the others ex’s. And of course we don’t want to be compared to your last relationship for better or worse. But, the reality is sometimes you just can’t help reliving someone’s past experiences. And what if their ex’s are still in the picture?

In a new relationship we want the focus to be all on us as if the past doesn’t exist. An example would be dating someone who has been married. I for one want to know what happened to the marriage and why it ended. And how is our relationship different from when you met your ex-spouse. The bottom line is you wonder will this happen to us?

Our past relationships and experiences are what shape us for the next relationship. I have learned so much about myself from my past boyfriends. I know my short comings and where I need to make adjustments for my next relationship. The bottom line is I now know the type of relationship I need and what works and doesn’t work for me. Everyone has baggage whether they want to admit it our not. We just don’t need someone baggage if it’s a truckload but we can deal with an overnight bags worth of the past.

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When you enter into a new relationship you can experience growing pains. What I mean is there is so much to learn about your partner and their behavior and it’s affect on you. I believe when your with the right person there is learning curve. We each bring into the relationship our past behavior and reactions that are in place to protect our hearts.

Some of us test our partners to see how committed they are to us and the new relationship. This can be done to make sure that this relationship will be different. Most of the time we are aware of what we’re doing but some times we are just repeating patterns and are not aware. What is most important is to just be yourself and show your true feelings for better or worse. I can’t hide a thing from anyone. I wear my heart on my sleeve and need someone who can just accept me for who I am. And I need to do the same for him.

Some of us go from relationship to relationship repeating the same patterns over and over. That is when you need to refocus on what type of relationship works best for you. When your with the right person there is a comfort that I describe as peaceful. Love can come to you when you least expect it but you have to stay open to it. Too many people have been hurt from past relationships and they are very guarded. Trust only comes over time as your love grows stronger and deeper. I believe everyone comes into our lives for a reason and to teach us things about ourselves.

So allow a new relationship to blossom and nurture and care for it. None of us are perfect and we shouldn’t expect our partner to be. Time will tell where the relationship is going. I don’t believe in timelines when it comes to love because each of us move at the pace that is best suited for us. Stay open and above all be honest with yourself and your partner.

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Never be afraid to speak from the heart. The more you are able to share your thoughts and feelings the more open your heart will be. I am a firm believer of telling the people in my life how important they are to me. This even goes for when someone has done or said something that hurt my feelings.

My dad died about 15 years ago and from that moment on I realized how important it is to tell people you love them. It wasn’t until 5 years before my dad passed away that he said I love you to me. I knew he loved me but hearing it is a totally different thing. I grow up in a house were you weren’t allowed to express your thoughts or feelings. Allowed sounds like a strong word but really if I ever disagreed with my dad it wasn’t a pleasant situation. I learned to just stuff my feelings inside .

Never be afraid of the outcome of speaking your mind. If your in a relationship and things aren’t going that great talk about it. If for any reason you disagree and your relationships ends it’s not a bad thing. It just means it was going to happened sooner or later. An example is if you partner won’t make a commitment to take your relationship to the next level and you end up breaking up. It’s better to know now. On the other hand you could have a positive outcome due to you bring up the subject.

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There is an amazing feeling when you overcome a certain fear. Although, anxiety can play a huge role when you face a task that scares you it is well worth it to ride it out and see what can happen.

As a child I was very shy and afraid to try anything new. I never felt encourged by my parents to try anything new such as hobbies or sports. So you can only imagine as a young adult this feeling stayed with me. I had no faith in myself and always thought I would fail. I would get so scared even going on a job interview.

The funny thing is I always landed on my feet. This sent a huge message that if you face your fear you can do anything or at least know you tried. In my career I was very confident but was not the same when it came to my social life. I was still a bit shy and always wanted to fit in. All my insecurities were just in my head.

Then I just challenged myself to take the confidence I felt at work and apply it to my dating life. Everything started to change for me and I became confidence in myself and it was showing on the outside. I don’t blame by parents for me being so shy or afraid to new things at all. As I got older I knew that only I could make the changes that needed to be made.

I still my doubt myself but I will try anything now and know in my heart that it is a win win situation. So as Nike’s use to say “JUST DO IT”.

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When you first start dating someone everything seems great. It could be a month or two when you start getting mixed signals from this person. In most cases this is a bad sign of the relationship fading out. There are a lot of people out there that have commitment issues that appear around the third month of dating.

Most of the time you hear things like “it’s not you”. This could actually be the truth and it is just their pattern when it comes to dating. People fear getting to close and letting someone in. So instead they run on to the next relationship.

If you start seeing signs like someone not making plans for the weekend or they stop calling as often pay close attention. Confront the person instead of letting it drag on and your feeling getting hurt even more. Be brave and take a stand. In the long road you will be better off.

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There is nothing better than being with someone who totally gets you. Have you ever dated someone who has no clue where your coming from? Although, it does take time to really get to know someone. You have to get through that honeymoon phase where everything is just so amazing.

Only over time can you really know if your an ideal match. After a couple weeks or months in some cases the person lets down there guard and you see the truth. I do believe in love at first sight but sometimes love is not enough to make a long term relationship work.

You have to be able to see your partner clearly and take off the blinders. Some people have said to me “the sex is great” as if that is what holds are relationship together. Not even close! What holds to people together is mutual respect, friendship and trust. You may not always agreed on everything but that is fine. Two opinions are better than one anytime. You just need to say open minded to others opinion and just listen.

Don’t sweat the small stuff and always be willing to try and find a compromise on issues. If your partner isn’t willing to compromise or listen to your point of view that is a HUGE issue. Like I said earlier love isn’t enough sometimes.

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So many of us have been hurt by people we loved. Being heart broken can do a lot of damage and we must find a way to recover. If you close off your heart to love and refuse to take risks even more damage is done.

I have experienced heart break and it really took a toll on me emotionally. Add to that my dad dying of cancer which only lead to abandonment issues. Why do bad things happen to good people? So many of us think this way. But, I believe that God only gives us what we can handle and maybe we are all a lot stronger than we think.

All the so call bad things that happen to us only show us our strenght and will power. I never stopped hoping that I would find the kind of love that ever lasting. I know that nothing last forever but I need to enjoy today and not worry about tomorrow so much. Living in the present is the only way to live.

Risk is part of life and you have to be in it to win it. So learn from your heart break and look within to make the changes that will help you learn from your past relationships and stop repeating behavior that doesn’t work.

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There is an inner peace that comes with being with the right partner. All the signs are there if you just listen to your inner voice.

Many people find themselves in relationships that don’t work for whatever reason. If your always anxious or keep picking on things that bug you this is a sign. You can go from relationship to relationship making the same mistake.

If you just sit quietly and listen to your inner voice you will find the answers you need. Trust yourself and honor your inner voice. It will guide you to the truth.

I can say that for the first time in my life that I’m with a man who is right for me and my higher good. I have an inner peace and calm that I have never experienced before. Most of the time I’m anxious and unsure as to where the relationship is going or if this person has my best interest at heart.

It is only through my self discovery that I have been able to see clearly what type of man I need to be with. It wasn’t pretty nor fun to really look at the truth. But, I’m so glad I rode the wave of self discovery into my heart and soul.

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All you need to do is find the site that works best for you. There are so many sites out there from Match.com to Eharmony. It depends on what your looking for. I suggest trying one site at a time instead of putting your profile on several sites. There is nothing more depressing that browsing sites and seeing the same people on serveral sites.

If you join one and your not happy with the responses than move on to another. You are just wasting your money or it’s wishful thinking that your dream mate is just going to appear out of nowhere. Do your research before joining. Several sites allow you to browse profiles without joining or with little effort.

Also, it is my opinion that joining a new site for 6 months without a test drive is a waste of money and energy. Try it out first and then make a decision.

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