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Keep an open mind when you join an internet dating site. If you have always dated one type of man or women it is your chance to explore your options.
When I have use an online dating service I kept an open mind to a variety of men. It was very interesting and I was quite surprise. Most of the men I would have never even talked to if I was at a bar.
You never know who you will end up liking so stay open and have fun.
In this day and age so many singles are meeting people online. It is almost like a blind date in a way. Although, you may know a lot more about the person you still have no clue what they will like in person.
Repeat after me…A first date is a ‘MEET AND GREET”. Women especially need to understand this. Do NOT plan a whole day or evening with someone the first time. I know what your thinking but the reality is you don’t.
It truly is a bad situation to have to spend a two hour dinner with someone that your not attracted to. That is why you should meet for a drink or coffee and if you hit it off go from there or plan a real first date.
I remember getting fixed up with a guy through a friend of a friend. We talked on the phone and everything was going well so he wanted to take me out for a nice dinner and I said yes. When I first met him all I saw was the worst comb over I have ever seen and the guy was only 32. All I wanted to do was go back into my apartment and cry.
But, since I’m not a rude person I went on the date as planned. It was so painful and we had nothing in common to even talk about. So I just asked question after question to avoid silence. What nerve the guy even ordered dessert to make the night last a little longer. He knew that I was not interested at all.
So this why I say just meet for a drink and see if you want a real date.
How To Recover
There are so many ways to get through break ups. What works for one person doesn’t always work for another. Some get really depressed and lose hope while others don’t beat themselves up over the situation. You can usually get advice from friends and family but it doesn’t mean you need to do what anyone tells you. We all listen but do what we want in the end or until we feel ready to listen. Besides, different friends and family members are certain to over varying perspectives on how you should feel, what you should do to get over the person, and what your next course of action should be.
Advice on Recovery
I can tell you first hand that I’ve been in some long term relationships and have learned a lot. Letting go has always been hard for me and I’m still not the best at it but I am so much strong now and have learned so much about myself and what makes me tick. Chose your own method and try and work through it. Go out, cry, laugh, and talk until your friends want to put a sock in your mouth. Whatever you do learn from your relationships and try to figure out what it is you want and how to go after it.
Professional Help or Hiring a Coach
Therapy is the best medicine. For all of you who say “that’s for the weak,” you are so wrong! You can try and deal with all your feelings yourself or talk with friends and family if that works for you. But, talking to a professional who doesn’t know you as well can be much more objective and really help you focus on what’s really going on. A lot of us sabotage relationships all on our own due to past experiences. Maybe we have a commitment, intimacy and or communication problem. Why not invest in yourself and mental well being? Are you afraid of what you will discover or are you ready to face your fears and move on?
Spiritual
Believing in something or someone is an awesome experience. I was never too religious so when things got bad I wanted and needed something to believe in. So once I was unemployed for awhile and I started reading some books on spirituality. I started to believe that I had a higher power. It doesn’t have to be God or even a person. It can just be a thought or image. We are all here for a reason and it’s a journey to figure out what your path is.
Coping Methods
We all cope differently so pick what works. Exercise and working out regularly can help you cope and relax. Yoga classes are great for your mind as well as your body. Sometimes we just need to sit with our feeling and work through them. Keeping a journal is a great way to get your feeling out. Plus, looking back and seeing what you have written can blow your mind. Meditate if you like. Get into your work and just do your very best. Buy a pet or go shopping. If you’re a man, go out and get some toys or build something. These are effective ways to spend time on a project and get time to help you.
Pity Party
This is not the best option but it works for some people. Have the party alone or ask your friends to join you. But, you only get ONE. It solves nothing but is a great way to cry or get some attention from loved ones.
Check out my other dating articles!
I think we all have been in a relationship at least once in our lifetime that really isn’t going anywhere. You know when you want more and your partner doesn’t. The most important thing is too not get in too far before you make a big mistake such as move in together or get engaged.
About 10 years ago I met a guy named Bill through a dating service. He was crazy about me right away but I wasn’t feeling it at all. He was nothing like any of my past boyfriends in every sense of the way. It didn’t matter if I was bitchy or passive he didn’t seem to care. He would bring me flowers each date and call me everyday. So I bet your wondering so what’s so bad about that? I never was into guys who kissed my butt all the time. As a matter of fact I found this a total turn off.
But, I started questioning myself about whether I was just trying to protect myself from being hurt and getting too close. I keep saying be open and go with the flow. So I did just that and let my guard down. So for about 4 months things were going great and I was really enjoying myself although he still wasn’t my ideal match. The next thing I know he’s telling me he loves me and I realized I loved him. Or did I?
Then BAM he breaks up with me out of the clear blue. One day he loves me and the next he’s gone. I was so upset but I wasn’t sure at who. It was as if he wore me down until I gave in. At the same time my sister found out she had breast cancer so I was a mess. Bill came crawling back and said he made a mistake and what do you think I did? That’s right I took him back. How stupid was that? This happened 3 times and each time I took him back. This was way before I had my act together when it came to men. The last straw was on the day I moved in with him and knew I had made the worst mistake of my life. We lasted 3 weeks and I moved out. Two months later he called and wanted to see me to talk. Now he wanted to get engaged. It was as if a brick hit him on the head and he’s now ready for a commitment now. Thank God I came to my senses and just walked away.
I realized that I only took him back so many times because it was easier than dealing with my sister’s cancer. I just didn’t want to be alone. My sister went through a year of treatments and I was the only family member close by so there was alot of pressure on me.
At this point in my life I would never stay in a relationship that wasn’t working or meeting my needs. If I had gone with my gut or the voice within I would have never dated Bill. So the bottom line is go with your gut and honor your inner voice because we all have the answers within.
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
the way you did today,
While thinking of the many
things,
We didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I’d have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I’d always thought,
I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I’d say good-bye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never
be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven’s gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God l! ooked do wn and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, “This is eternity,
And all I’ve promised you.”
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
and since each day is the same way,
There’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn’t do.
But you have been forgiven,
and now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and take my hand,
and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here, in your heart ”
May God watch over you and your family now and always. There is no right time to do the wrong thing…..there is no wrong time to tell someone you care.
I have been working with a client for the past 4 weeks and I have seen such a change in her. Even after one session her additude is much more positive.
The most important relationship is with yourself. If you have a clear direction for where you want to go the sky is the limit. We all need to get rid of the weeds in our garden in order to see clearly. Whether you have issues surrounding love, relationships, core beliefs, emotions, money and work coaching does help to get clear.
Check out my services and if your looking for some assistance to make changes in your life contact me.
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