I have described the internet dating experience as a Candy Store where men and women are just trying out different flavors. So many times someone writes you and shows interest but then they are gone. I have had many email and phone conversations and the person seems interested but we never end up meeting. They ever go as far as asking you out on a date. And I know I’m not alone.

For some the whole internet dating thing is a game but for those who are looking for a partner they get very frustrated. What I have done is not even bother writing back if I’m not interested so I don’t waste anyone’s time. Of course you need to sometimes exchange a couple emails before making a decision to proceed on. What about the people that in the first email say “hey here’s my number give me a call”. Most women do not feel comfortable doing this and I am one of them. I would much rather email the guy and ask some questions to dig a little deeper than just reading their profile.

If you think someone is just jerking you around then END IT!! We all know if someone is interested they will let you know.

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When it comes to working on issues most of us spend our time in the static world which is dealing with problems. All we can focus on is the problem at hand and this is not the best way to deal with issues. The Organic world is all thing that are possible. We need to spend more time thinking about the possiblities and what we can do to move beyond the problems.

This makes a lot of sense to me on many levels. I spent years in therapy working on problems without an action plan to move beyond them. Sure, it was important to understand where the problems started and to make peace with my past experiences. What would have been helpful was to identify the problem and then create an action plan to change my behavior or limited thoughts surrounding an issue.

Now, I stay focused on moving beyond problems and to think about change and the possiblities. I don’t live in the past too much anymore but learn from each experience. This way I can stay on a forward path. This is what Empowerement Life Coaching can assist you with.

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I would much rather get dating advice from someone who has the experience. You need to be in it to understand what single men and women go through. Have you ever had married friends who have been married for 10 years try and give you advice? Or what about having a therapist who has no clue what dating involves in 2006?

I’m not saying I am the expert on dating and don’t make my own mistakes. But, I live in reality as my friends would say. I’ve spent a couple years online, blind dates and meeting men. I have learned from my mistakes and am able to have a real conversation about what dating is like. I see so many men and women so frustrated with dating that they just want to give up. Don’t let anyone fool you IT IS WORK and you have to be on your toes.

All we need to do is slow down and listen to our inner voice when you get confused about a relationship or dating. The signs are there when things aren’t going that well and it takes action and thought to move beyond a situation. This holds true for relationships and dates that are going well. I know some people that would rather stay in a relationship that is not working than be alone. It is easy to overlook some things but when the handwriting is on the wall you need to get out. I know easier said than done.

It took years until I was comfortable being alone and sitting with myself and all the feelings. I would rather be alone and happy than with someone just for the sake of not being alone. I enjoy my life regardless of being in a relationship or not.

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I thought this movie was so funny. Can you even image if this really goes on? What was even funnier was the guys going to funerals to pick up chicks. I decieded to ask my friends if they have ever picked up a guy at a wedding and most said no. Going to weddings as a single women is a very strange thing. As the years go by and you haven’t been married you begin to feel like there is something wrong. You become so focused on all the couples around you and start to feel sorrry for yourself.

We need to just stay true to the process of meeting someone and know that everything is timing. I have no issues now about going to a wedding alone but i guess that is because I feel secure and confident in myself. Being single is not so bad and is better than being with the wrong person.

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Why do so many people have trouble being honest? Is it because they are a coward or trying to protect you from the truth?

I would much rather hear the truth from someone then a bold face lie or for that matter even the little white lies that are so easy to tell. Being honest doesn’t mean hurting peoples feelings. I have met some people who say “I am very open and honest” but they don’t even think before they open their mouth. They pass judgement too fast without really thinking or seeing the truth.

I remember meeting a guy once and he was so critical of every move or word I said. I found this such a turn off. As if he was perfect himself. But, I hung out with him a little bit to see if he would chill out and just relax. This never happened and that was the last I saw of him. Even my closest friends and family don’t get away with this behavior. No problem if they are giving their opinion on something or provide feedback.

I’m very honest but never try and hurt anyone’s feelings. Some things are just best left alone and just observed. There is a right and wrong way to be honest.

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You know when you get an email from an internet dating site that someone’s interested in you? If your answer is yes did you ever wonder about the following?

Most of the people showing interest never even read your profile they just wink as on match. Don’t people realize each site makes you fill out a profile for a reason? I am much more interested in getting an email saying hi and I liked your profile. Most sites have a way for you to see who has viewed your profile.

I understand for most of us it is the picture that first interests us and if were not interested we just move to the next profile. Unless I find myself attracted to the photo I will not respond to the wink or showing of interest. And if they never read my profile I won’t even respond. I know this sounds tough but the type of men I’m interested would make the final decision to contact me by reading my profile.

Some of the sites let you send a “No Thank You”. I thought this was a good idea until someone wrote me back and told me off. No one likes rejection and maybe this is taking it too far.

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You need to view the men and women you meet on line as a “Meet and Greet”. Too many of us put so much hope into dating. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be hopeful because you need to be.

How many of us have THOUGHT we really connected with someone on the phone? I have done this way too many times. All I can say is until you are face to face with the person you will not have the whole picture. So many times we voice our hopes, wants and desires to the person on the other end of the phone.

I know the difference between right and wrong. I have spent hours on the phone with someone who I feel so hopeful about. Once I was in the same space as them it was a whole other story. But, it felt good to connect with the person.

Just me smart about your choices and remember it is just a “MEET AND GREET”.

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I just got back from an intense training for my coach training. I can tell you my life will never be the same. I spent several days with 47 other trainees. It was the most amazing bunch of people.

I can tell you that being around this many people that are so amazing and open that in itself is empowering. There was so much love and support in the air. We all came to the Empowerment Institute to help change ourselves, clients and the world. It is like the ripple effect. Most people just focus on problems which is referred to as the static world. Empowerment teaches you to deal with the feelings and grow from it which is referred to as the organic world.

I will take you along with me on the journey!

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I know so many men and women in my area including myself that are fed up with internet dating. Whether it’s men or women we come across the same thing. The people don’t look like their pictures or are appear to be much heavier in their pictures. No one should have photos that are not current. What’s up with pictures that are 2 years old? Of course I hear more men say this than women. Or what people write in their profiles is far from the truth.

So I am thinking of starting a support group in my area so men and women can learn something from what the opposite sex say about their internet dates. It would be more about feeling not alone out there and being total frustrated and saying I quit. I want people to see beyond the meet and greet feeling. I myself learn more about what I’m looking for or not looking for from each date. It doesn’t have to be all negative. It’s about changing your additude.

Stay tuned!

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I came across a profile on Match that really caught my eye. We made contact and ended up talking on the phone and found that we were looking for the same thing in a partner. He lived about 2 hours from me so we chatted on the phone quite a number of times. Every time we talked it was looking like this could work. We were attracted to each others photos. We had the same wishes and dream of finding true love

He drove down to see me and spend the day together. There was an attraction there for sure. From the moment he saw me he was very touchy and this was a red flag to me. It was as if in his mind that this was it for him. I tried my hardest to slow him down and it would work for a short time and then he would become so intense. We hung out at my place with a couple of my friends but when they left it went all down hill from there.

We never stated how long he would stay but it was as if he planned on staying for days. We got into conversations where we disagreed and what appeared to me as fighting. I began to see how controlling he was and needed to end the date. But, he wouldn’t leave when I asked. I told him I had plans later on in the evening which only made him more angry. I’m thinking this is crazy it’s only a first date.

He felt as if I was rejecting him and say if I let him leave that will be the last time I see him. I told him he needed to go and we could talk later on the phone when he has calmed down. In the end, I knew I was sending mixed messages but was due to him being so intense.

I will just go back to the rules of first dates and not commit to an open ended date. Meaning, just meet for a drink or coffee and if your both interested look forward to a real date.

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