Clients and friends ask why do people lie who you meet online. I know you even write that you’re looking for a honest soul and still they just lie anyway. The answer is they are lacking self confidence and don’t believe in themselves. Lying is a way of covering up who they really are. Once someone starts lying it’s hard for them to stop unless they are ready to deal with their own issues. Lying to save the other person from getting their feelings hurt is a bunch of crap.

There is a way to say the truth without running over the person’s heart. Be kind and upfront and you will be amazed at how much the other person will respect you in the end. No one wants rejection but we can handle it. My advice is if you meet someone take your time to get to know them. The truth is hard to hide but it can take a little time to really get to know the inner working of one’s mind. Treat others how you want to be treated and you will be better off.

We all want to fall in love but maybe just don’t want so bad that you miss all the signs that this person is not the one. I have been there too so I’m not saying it is easy. Love and Like yourself and others will be drawn to you.

We want to meet someone and fall in love to get off the dating sites. Have faith and hope the right and honest person is out there along with

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Did you know now you can meet someone via your cell phone? Match will be launching this service in the future. My guess is this is more for the 20 something singles. If anyone has tried this service please provide feedback.

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There is no rule written in stone when it comes to how many dates should you have before sleeping with someone. I hear some men say there is a 3 to 5 date rule. It is all a personal preference but make sure you can handle not getting a call or date from the person you slept with too soon. Women need to become warriors that are strong and confident. A warrior knows when to go into battle and when to sit back and wait for the best outcome.

I have been there myself years ago and learned the same lessons as you. When I was single and online I would even write in my profile that if your looking for a hook up PLEASE just pass on by. I got so tired of the game. The men were so into me until around the 3rd date when I wouldn’t have sex and vanished into the night never to be heard from again. I was very clear that I was looking for my last love and nothing less.

Your self esteem and confidence can be affected by sleeping with someone and then never hearing from them again. So think before your leap and if someone is really interested in you they WILL wait.

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I was watching TV and saw the ad about how EHarmony is rejecting people and not letting them sign up. So I did a search online and the real truth is related to gay and lesbians are not the company’s target market. Is this discrimination? I really don’t think so. The bottom line is it worth a lawsuit? Couldn’t you say the same thing about over fifty dating sites where your age matters? What if you just want to date people over fifty? I’m not a fan of EHarmony myself but it is my personal choice. But, Chemistry.com is smart to put this ad on TV because they are getting tons of exposure. But, it’s so misleading and turned me right off once I learned the truth.

You need to find sites that are suited for YOU to have a better chance of finding your soul mate.

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You should always update your pictures online. I asked my girlfriend to show me the men on Match.com that have viewed her profile and I was shocked at how many men had pictures that were at least 2 years old. The last time I was a member on Match.com was back in 2005. I was amazed to see the same men with the same old picture. And of course this goes for women too.

Why would anyone put a picture up that is over 2 years old? Hello, what are you going to say when you find someone and you meet? I believe this is only showing insecurity about who you are. No one wants to go meet someone who is 25 pounds overweight since their picture was taken.

In this day and age there is no excuse for using an old picture. Ask a friend or take you own picture using a camera. Trust me everyone you meet will respect you a lot more. Believe in who you are today and not yesterday.

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Do you find browsing profiles online fun or totally depressing? I say it’s both. Last night my single girlfriend and I were checking out men for her on Match. I remember all to well what it felt like looking at men who would be interested in me. This is called a reverse search. Now, if your a women over 40 this can be a challenge. Some of the men are in their late 50’s and early 60’s. If you’re young looking or young at heart this can give you a pit in your belly. It’s all personal preference! Some women want to date an older man who’s kids are all grown up and others want a younger men. There are a lot of younger men out there interested in older women. Women without a doubt feel better about themselves as they age. Some men age very well and in my opinion they get better looking.

There is a fun side to looking because it doesn’t hurt. You just can’t sit around checking out someone’s profile yelling “Pick me”. Take a chance and write some people even if your so so interested. Be BOLD and BRAVE and just do it. I know too many people who sign up and are afraid to write members. Don’t feel rejected if they don’t write back. Remember that don’t have a clue who you or what you’re about really. We are all attracted to different types.

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Please join me in making 2008 a great year for all. It is time to say goodbye to any regrets and the things you didn’t do. I just like you need a fresh start and get my life back on track with goals, dreams and desires. 2007 was one of my best and worst years ever since I just beat cancer. You may ask what’s the best part of cancer? The answer is simple. I am so much stronger than I ever imagined. I was tested over and over and I came out on top.

So, on New Year’s Day take out some paper and do this little exercise. Write down all the negative things you have done for the year. Along with the goals that never got completed. If someone broke your heart write about it. Then put the paper in a bowl and burn it. Just say goodbye to each item on your list. Now, write down all you’re grateful for in 2007. Lastly, make a list of your goals for the New Year and a game plan to achieve each one.

You can’t run from the past or change the road you traveled during the past year. But, you can make positive changes and live your best life. Join me in a Fresh Start. And thanks to all the people in my life who were right by my side this year for all their love and support.

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Is dating someone without baggage possible? Let’s be honest everyone has some baggage. We always see on dating site profiles “no baggage please”. It is just a matter of how big is your baggage. Is it the size of a carry on bag or a trunk?

I don’t know about you but having been through sh*t in your life make you either stronger or you let it weigh you down. It’s your choice on how you live your life and what you chose to let go of. I myself could make a list of all the drama in my life but I’ll tell you it has only made me stronger and more secure.

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If you have or had breast cancer that makes you a pretty strong warrior in my mind. Whomever said that men are the stronger sex maybe wrong. It takes love, strenght, support and inner wisdom to go through cancer treatments. I always knew I was a strong women but having had breast cancer and chemo really was the test. I never felt sorry for myself and let the cancer bring me down. I just did what I had to do at the time with courage and strenght. Your mind and body are tested big time. Holy sh*t I thought losing my hair was worst then losing both breast. I could hide the fact that I had breast surgery with reconstruction. But, when I was told I should have chemo as a added benefit there was no hiding my bald head.

That being said my baldness was and still is my badge of honor. I have 2 more weeks until my hair starts to grow back and it seems like 2 years. The other night I cried my eyes out now that treatment is all over. All I could think was “look what my body has been through and how did I get through this”. The answer is I got myself through cancer. Of course, friends and family support helps in every step of the way. But, at the end of the day I did it and it’s all over. I am my own hero and YIPPIE!

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Clients ask me all the time why when you first meet someone they seem perfect. Then a couple months later the person doesn’t seem perfect at all. Is it that people tell you what you want to hear when your first start dating? We all know people that after one date are so sure the person is the one for them.

We all fall into this trap once or twice. Maybe it is because you want to be in a relationship so bad you will overlook the signs. Or tell yourself it’s better than being alone. Well, that is just not true. It is better to be alone than be with the wrong person. The only person that will lose out is you. Why cheat yourself out of true love?

The only person looking out for you is you. You are your one true best friend and the only person who has your best interest at heart. But this requires strength and trust. I’m always telling clients to honor their inner voice and allow it to guide you because it works. I’m not saying this is easy but with practice you will learn that all the answers you need are within. And when your inner voice is whispering in your ear things like “you deserve better” listen.

I’ve been there and I’m the first one to say that I used to just push aside my inner guide and do what I wanted. And for the most part if I was really in tune with myself I would have made better decisions. Through my coaching training and inner work I have learned to trust and listen to my inner voice no matter how hard it was. So start making better choices for yourself and you will find that you’re a lot stronger than you thought.

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